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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: AlbinoLiesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: PsychoBabble214
    ASL Info:    18/female
    Elite Ratio:    4.52 - 103/109/29
    Words: 105
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 996
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 706



    Description:
       well... just tell me what you think...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAlbinoLiesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    White skin
    Red eyes
    She is...
    My devil in disguise

    I'm kept on a chain
    Pull it hard
    My body slowly dies
    Dignity is scarred

    Her voice whispers black
    The color wraps around
    In the thick ebony velvet
    Iím left to drown

    She consumes my secrets
    Like a secret blood lust
    Liquid satisfaction
    A hunger I canít trust

    Thereís a void in my memory
    The place where you reside
    Youíre the child, Iím the toy
    Oh master, I feel denied

    Can you keep my past?
    Will you keep my lies?
    Control my future
    You are my demise




    Submitted on 2005-11-22 21:43:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I like this poem, and I really love how the tile is "AlbinoLies", I think that's very original. Also, I would like to say that I really love how you chose the portray the fact that the person you had to spend your time with, you only had to spend time with because she had some sort of blackmail on you, and you couldn't o, but you tried to trust her to keep your secret. Overall, this was a very well written piece, writing of something that can be truly terrifying if you are put into that situation. Anyways, this is well writte, and good job. Take care.
    Peace and love,
    Aya
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
      It sucks when your parents rifle through your room.
    I know we've all been there.
    You're lying naked on the cold tiles
    heart stopping and starting every fifteen seconds
    trying to sweat over clammy skin
    the two of them going over your bedroom looking for the rest of your blow
    and you're thinking
    "Can I play soccer today?"

    I just really get shaken by the first verse when you reference Elvis
    "She's the devil in disguise"

    The rest is heart felt,strong anger at parents enforcing themselves on your space.

    Well,if they don't you might end up a lesbian,and they can't have that,can they?
    | Posted on 2005-11-22 00:00:00 | by honus | [ Reply to This ]


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