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    dots Submission Name: Whisper from Withindots

    Author: Jussy
    ASL Info:    21 ...guy....waterworld
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 66/64/21
    Words: 72
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 843
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 468

       This piece is mostly about how wisdom and intelligence seem to have fallen asleep in the world. Most people no longer search for it. We are spoon fed what we should know and believe.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsWhisper from Withindots

    Well, our bones are alive while
    our bodies' asleep.
    Can you hear the lies of our fathers?
    Show and tell is minds' blasphemy.
    We'll make the decision from our bothers.
    So come, let's go dismember our heart.
    The pain from it, they tell us,
    is not worth keeping.
    Our seasons within are not just a work of art,
    but for how long, and how much more
    will our intelligence be sleeping?

    Submitted on 2005-11-23 00:32:45     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Yeah, I hear ya. Too often people are too afraid to just be honest because of the fear of what society might think of their opinion. I mean...a beautiful woman need not wear makeup...but according to her and society...she does, ya know? Anyway, nice piece here and very resounding thoughts.
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Yeah, I have a song about this same topic, like you said, the "spoon fed what we think," really no one is capable of speaking for themselves anymore, and that's what my song is talking about, but yeah I love this poem, it has such a nice flow, everything makes sense, and I see no need for me to really edit it in any way, because it's absolutely perfect just the way it is, but I love that line:

    "Our bones are alive while
    our bodies' asleep."

    ...that is so slick, and I want you to keep 'em coming
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      goodjob on the poem. the wording was also very well. keep up on the good work. i will look forward to reading some.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by GraveyardGoblin | [ Reply to This ]

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