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I've heard the call
For so many years
Trying to leave this place
And the one I hold dear
How can one single person
Miss the call so often?
No more nails are needed
To seal this coffin
A train jumped track
I'll walk from here
I'll walk from her
I'll walk from here
The plane's been delayed
Grow some wings,I shall do
Get away from you,shall be done
No more missing you,I shall do
I'm tired of missing
Been in my head,a very long time
Every avenue of escape
The roads to winding for a sign
My thumb sticks up,any way I can go
I wont be far
Just right down the road
That winding road
And if you're in the neighborhood
Visit every so often
Come and spit on my grave
The last nail for this coffin
| wow, I hate the sadness that creeps from every stanza.|
very powerful indeed.
The feeling of missing a person so much that your heart aches, no pain can measure.
You really brought that out.
the emotions really rose from the words you used, the pictures you painted where perfect to put me there.
you covered a very large area of feelings, yet narrowed it down to the simple fact that it hurt.
its killing you.
you took me on a very emotional ride.
|| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ] || Extremely Powerful!|
This write was screaming Emotion
I too hope you do not feel that death is the answer
For you are much to strong and gifted of a person to let negativity bring you down
And Thank You for your recent comments
I am glad you felt the emotion I was trying to let others feel with that write
|| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || Wow! This is really sad. This sounds to me like someone who is so frustrated with life and has been badly hurt by someone to the point where they feel they just cant take it anymore. It definitely conveys some deep emotion and the depression is felt with these words. The last stanza here is particularly powerful and I found the ending to be bluntfully shocking. "Come spit on my grave" is such a resentful and painful line that carries such an impact to the ending of this poem. It conveys extreme pain and hurt felt and is telling this person to come and kick them one more time by spitting on the grave. Very well written and expressed. Take care.|
|| Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ] || Wow... I really like this piece, dawg. I hope you don't feel like this fa'real, man. But wow, your words were powerful, man. I loved the metaphors you used for 'departing' like the train, and the plane... Mad hot, fa'real.||| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ] |