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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Now departingdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: toyysruss
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 494/336/134
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Depressed
    Total Views: 1032
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1053



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsNow departingdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I've heard the call
    For so many years
    Trying to leave this place
    And the one I hold dear
    How can one single person
    Miss the call so often?
    No more nails are needed
    To seal this coffin

    A train jumped track
    I'll walk from here
    I'll walk from her
    I'll walk from here

    The plane's been delayed
    Grow some wings,I shall do
    Get away from you,shall be done
    No more missing you,I shall do

    I'm tired of missing
    Been in my head,a very long time
    Every avenue of escape
    The roads to winding for a sign
    My thumb sticks up,any way I can go
    Just go
    Go No
    Where?

    I wont be far
    Just right down the road
    Right underneath
    That winding road
    And if you're in the neighborhood
    Visit every so often
    Come and spit on my grave
    The last nail for this coffin








    Submitted on 2005-11-23 01:20:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      wow, I hate the sadness that creeps from every stanza.
    very powerful indeed.
    The feeling of missing a person so much that your heart aches, no pain can measure.
    You really brought that out.
    the emotions really rose from the words you used, the pictures you painted where perfect to put me there.

    you covered a very large area of feelings, yet narrowed it down to the simple fact that it hurt.
    its killing you.

    you took me on a very emotional ride.
    take care
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      Extremely Powerful!
    This write was screaming Emotion
    I too hope you do not feel that death is the answer
    For you are much to strong and gifted of a person to let negativity bring you down
    Remain Positive!

    And Thank You for your recent comments
    I am glad you felt the emotion I was trying to let others feel with that write
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow! This is really sad. This sounds to me like someone who is so frustrated with life and has been badly hurt by someone to the point where they feel they just cant take it anymore. It definitely conveys some deep emotion and the depression is felt with these words. The last stanza here is particularly powerful and I found the ending to be bluntfully shocking. "Come spit on my grave" is such a resentful and painful line that carries such an impact to the ending of this poem. It conveys extreme pain and hurt felt and is telling this person to come and kick them one more time by spitting on the grave. Very well written and expressed. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow... I really like this piece, dawg. I hope you don't feel like this fa'real, man. But wow, your words were powerful, man. I loved the metaphors you used for 'departing' like the train, and the plane... Mad hot, fa'real.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by K-Beezy | [ Reply to This ]


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