[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: Flight of My Loverdots

    Author: Jussy
    ASL Info:    21 ...guy....waterworld
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 66/64/21
    Words: 62
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 943
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 384

       This piece is about a love that was given up.
    The issues of the world murdered the passion between the lovers. See if you can catch the metaphor. If not, comment and I'll go from there.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFlight of My Loverdots

    As I lay in my sheets
    of exhaustion;
    a silence hits the air.
    You're not there, where have you gone?
    I comb through our void so
    that I can desperately latch on
    to a tree, as the flood waters
    below me rage past.
    Kind hearted one, can you hear me?
    Wake up!
    And I shook the lifeless
    body that once was you.

    Submitted on 2005-11-23 09:30:52     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ouch this poem seems like it hurt just to write it's so sad and emotional i liked the way you broke the poem up i often do the same thing myself...overall very good write
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by poetry chica | [ Reply to This ]
      Wow, this was seriously emotional and so beautiful! I really loved it! Your flow of words was really good and I hope to see more from you!
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]