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woman


Author: glasshill
Elite Ratio:    4.63 - 27 /40 /10
Words: 221
Class/Type: Poetry /Nature
Total Views: 1287
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1658



Description:




woman




sometimes
she struggles
not to
desire
so very much

not to
love

and more elusive still
she labours
not to love

so very much

not to inhale -
too deeply
so when that first breath
does come

her inspiration
will not be
small whisps of clouds
that danced upon tall summits

if it comes at all

to love so much
she trusts
Trusts
that even
with closed eyes
on her darkest nights
a radiant red light
will softly dwell
upon her sleeping eyes
enfolding its warmth
around her

that she may embrace
and abandon
herself in

the exquisite pain
of her
wide open soul
again

and again

she seeks to shield
herself away
from this love
but she cannot remember how

and so
goes from day to day
heart exposed
embracing
gracious trees -
their gentle dancing leaves,
gazing into
moon's radiant face ,
understanding the passions
of the sea,
as they flow within her blood
and loving her earth,
with aching joy that
sustains her bones

and Loving a man

for all that he is
for all that he will never be
with all of herself

and loving this man

and somedays
she
wishes

wishes it all away




Submitted on 2005-11-23 10:14:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  I like your use of light in this poem to create mood. red and white. I am not sure if you meant for a connection between radiant and raidant in both lights. Also, for one you supply a source and the other none at all? I wonder from where this red light comes. I really like how the repeated words through out th epoem create emphasis and exagerated meaning. My favorite part is the one relating to the moon...

I did think that the 3 - 5 could be condenced a bit because the emphasis their isn't paticularly effective but rather feels a little redundant.

Otherwise, a very nice write.
| Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by Car va g o | [ Reply to This ]
  ''sometimes
she struggles
not to
desire
so very much

not to
love''
so very sad

''and Loving a man

for all that he is
for all that he will never be
with all of herself''


and so very contrary…even sadder
what are we to do with this woman torn apart with contrasting feelings?
Lovely poem…just flowing down my computer screen…with a naturalness that makes it seam so easy.
well done gasshills
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by ertha | [ Reply to This ]
  This is a very good poem. I like how you wrote this, the form just gives such a nice flow to the read. This is so sad and touching and I think all of us woman can relate to these feelings of want and desire and love but also to wishing them all away. Opening up your heart and risking being hurt isnt easy at all. But, we must in order to enjoy all the wonders that love brings to our lives. My favorite part of this poem:

and so
goes from day to day
heart exposed
embracing
gracious trees -
their gentle dancing leaves,
gazing into
moon's radiant face ,
understanding the passions
of the sea,
as they flow within her blood
and loving her earth,
with aching joy that
sustains her bones

Such a wonderfully written stanza this is. It is filled with lovely imagery and really allows the poem to reach the reader. Very powerful and descriptive. This is a lovely write. Take care.

Lorna
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
  Wow, this was really sad, but it was portrayed so beautifully. I felt so bad for the woman trying not to love, and not wanting to jump into loving a man with her eyes closed, and her heart leading the way beause she was afraid of getting hurt, but I think that's about half of loving someone is loving thm and trusting them to love you back because they say they do, but she didn't want to get engulfed, and involved in the pain all over again, and it made me wonder why she was so scared, but that will always be a mystery that the reader could only guess, but never truly figure out. Anyhow, this was really sad, and it touched me, and I really love it.
Peace and love,
Aya
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by EmpathicAya | [ Reply to This ]
  Women seem strongest championing a cause outside themselves, fighting for children, husband, family, loved ones, friends, jobs, careers, etc; their power is most often manifested outwardly. However, the flesh of their souls is so tender they seem crushed by what they've told others to ignore. Quite a paradox! Your style reminds me of some of my earlier work (please don't take that as an insult!), It pours from the page as easily as water. Nicely done.
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
  Painfully beautiful for me. I do beleive tht all woman are hidden treasures and unique spirits...

This piece showed the depth and desires of womanhood. The immense passions, yet the unbearable thoughts of insecurity.

We have the ability to overcome all of lives strifes, and I sometimes beleive that our strength is often understemated not by men but by own own insecurites and high standards

I guess all we can do is learn from the past, enjy the present... and bream big of our future endeavors!

I adored this piece!

Ella
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by stormyskye | [ Reply to This ]


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