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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: The Secrets of Gotha Castle-2-dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: wretched_muse
    ASL Info:    20/f/OH
    Elite Ratio:    4 - 182/205/64
    Words: 971
    Class/Type: Story/Gothic
    Total Views: 156
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 5057



    Description:
       second part... i havented had time to work on the first one but maybe for those who commented on it this second part might give some answers, if not, ill work on it. if you havent read the first one plz do and give me feed back on both.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Secrets of Gotha Castle-2-dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Before Julia could catch her balance from the force of being pulled, her foot snagged on a small step. Julia, unsteady on her feet, tumbled to the smooth marble tiles of the castle’s lengthy, spacious hallway. As she lay there on the ground, feeling the ache in her bones caused by hitting the floor, she heard a familiar taunting , razz of laughter coming from behind her. Julia tried to raise herself up by the palms of her hands but the pain from the cuts by the thorns caused her to quickly drop back down to the comfort of the cold floor with a small groan of frustration.
    Suddenly, the razz of laughter stopped and the soft rustling of footsteps picked up in the shadows surrounding the door that led outside. Looking over her shoulder, Julia tried to get a clear view of the noisemaker when the culprit emerged from the shadows. What she beheld was an average height young man of five foot eight, with a head of dish-water straight blond hair that hung on his egg-shaped head like a mop, falling into his crystal clear, blue eyes then tapered off behind his impish ears. He was about nineteen years of age, and had rosy cheeks, nose, and lips from the cool weather that the month had brought. The man’s attire consisted of brown breeches; a white loosely hanging blouse made of linen and boots of worn out brown leather.
    The man started to walk closer to Julia. Stepping off to her side, he bent down and slid his outstretched hand under her elbow. At the same time, he spoke with a smile. “Sis, how ever did you get down there?”
    “Like you have to ask, Erik,” Julia said. To this reply, Erik chuckled and shook his head, then slowly pulled her up off the floor. As Julia was being helped up off the floor she couldn’t help but criticize herself for not expecting Erik to pull a childish trick on her as he had done countless times. Just because he supposedly has grown into an adult didn’t mean that his mind wasn’t still that of a twelve-year-old, who loved to scare his little sister at least once a day. Julia let herself be pulled up by Erik’s strong arms until she could successfully stand on her own.
    Once Erik had let go of her, Julia started to get a better idea of her surroundings. The hall she was now in was indeed lengthy and spacious with tiles that looked to be made of white marble. At the end of the hallway, a wall of stone stood with grand double doors made from iron that at one time was obviously polished to a beautiful sheen. But from years of neglect, the iron had turned and odd shade of black, yet some of its original sheen stood out around the odd looking door handles. Julia took in the rest of the room in a quick glance, there was walls to her left and right. Although the walls were plain there were two other doors in the hall, one to her left and right, adjacent to one another, similar to the double doors yet not made as massive. Looking at these doors made a something settle uneasily in Julia. She could not quite put her grasp it but there was definitely some familiarity to these doors.
    Julia turned back to her brother who was looking at her with questioning eyes. “What?” asked Julia.
    “Why are you here?” Erik asked with a suspicious tone.
    “Mom sent me. When I was cleaning some of the guestrooms at the inn she called for me. She said that I was making all the beds wrong.
    “You should go and get that troublesome brother of yours from that stupid castle.” She went on to say. “He can cook our guest’s meals for tonight. Then maybe I will be able to fix all of your mistakes. This way I wont be so behind in tonight’s doings for out guests. Lord knows he’s a better cook then you are.”
    “Sounds like her all right,” replied Erik with irritation in his voice. “And don’t call her mom, she’s not are mother. And you can just tell her that I’m not coming home right now.”
    “Well she’s the only mother I’ve ever known, and I’m not going back down there without you. That would be feeding my self the beast. She’ll tear into me as soon as she sees me with out you. Besides it’s getting dark out there now and I’ll be cut up even more so then I am now.” turning her hands over and revealing her palms to Erik she could tell this had some effect on him, as she hoped it would. Even though Erik was heartless by the villagers standards, when it came to Julia she knew he had cared, and would never do anything to put her in harm’s way, intentionally. “I know you know a better way down from this castle, then I.”
    “Fine,” Erik said, “You can stay here with us I guess, but we’re not leaving just yet.”
    It took Julia a minute to realize what he meant by “us,” then she remembered that wherever Erik Madison was Alexi Karloff was not far behind, and visa-versa.
    “So come on, I left him in the library when I heard you fumbling around the door.” Erik ordered as he started off down the hall. Looking nervously at the suspicious doors, Julia fallowed Erik up the hallway.




    Submitted on 2005-11-23 10:51:48     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I read the first part & it was totally confussing but reading this does make more sense.
    You still have some major grammical errors here. Not that I am trying to put you down or anything, because I do the same thing.

    You just need to read over it a little more.
    I think you have an amazing amount of creativity-
    I could never come up with a story like this. You have caught my attention.
    ~jennifer
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by joy7542 | [ Reply to This ]
      The story unfolds with family intrigue and mystery (ah, the traditional hatefest involving step parents and young adults!). You've maintained the consistency of style from the first installment while expanding the story. I see you're also fond of the cliffhanger ending. I assume you'll be gradually building the suspense as the next few sections progress. Looking forward to part three.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]



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