Sign up to EliteSkills




Already have an account? Login to Roleplay.Cloud
Forgot password? Recover Password

Bounding on, Intertwined


Author: Mieko
Elite Ratio:    3.98 - 253 /209 /99
Words: 124
Class/Type: Poetry /Misc
Total Views: 1223
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 843



Description:


Hmmm...x.x I dunno. Really.
My idea for this isn't. Exactly. Clear. xD


Bounding on, Intertwined



Who are you?
I see you in the distance,
A shadow of a person,
A brief, shifting memory.

Where are you?
Could have sworn I recognized you,
Tracing my way through the crowds
Of nothing—blurs of grey and blue

I saw you a moment ago—
Now where did you go?
Come back and—
Let me hold on to your image a little bit more

Bounding and fleeing
We go on dreaming
Hoping to find
Those who’ve gone

But those who’ve gone
Are only trying to find
The people in their lives,
That have gone away, too.

So we’re always searching for something—
Weaving in and out
Always looking for someone—
Who we’ve learned to go without…





Submitted on 2005-11-23 17:51:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
Edit post

Rate This Submission

1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!




Comments


  Wow..I really like it...like it alot.Its how I feel.There are two ways I see this poem..In love and in a passing.In love because you either knew them and dated them then, now the're gone..or you saw them down the street but never asked for their name..In passing because you used to see them everyday but now their image is only a memory.This is a very deep poem to me..On my favs..
| Posted on 2006-02-04 00:00:00 | by giver_of_death | [ Reply to This ]
  Oo, I likes, I likes alot. I could completely relate to this...it reminded me of my granny, who is in fact really alive, I just am not aloud to see her anymore, long story lol. Anyways, I always think I see her car in the traffic or her in the store but then of course it's just a lookalike, or a figment of my imagination lol. I'm not sure if that's what you were getting at...but it was meaningful to me, great job.

I loved this part:

"Could have sworn I recognized you,
Tracing my way through the crowds
Of nothing—blurs of grey and blue"

Something I could see myself doing/saying.
| Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by fightingirl19 | [ Reply to This ]
  This was great...I have to agree with ethan...I've been thinking of the write way to portray this sorta sense for a long time...you put into words magnificantly. To me this seemed like the "shadow person" could have been someone who left you in a relationship or someone who died...probably because I know so many people that did it kind of reminded me of someone who was either murdered or commited suicide just because some things sting harder if you know what I mean...you used good mystery though at the end the reader is still inot sure...i often enjoy writes where the reader has to fill-in-the-blanks so to speak in their mind. good write.
peace
| Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
  This is very sweet and deep.

I amy wrapped up in the thoughts of who the shadow person is. You do the mystery of this quite well.

It moves in much the way our thoughts do and brings us to an important conclusion and vision on life.

I like it, good job.

Chrystine
| Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ]
  I really liked your poem. I kind of feel that, in a way, what you've written is something I've been struggling to put into words for quite a long time and what’s more you did it fantastically. I felt very close to it indeed. I especially liked and loved the last stanza it certainly mirrors some of the thoughts and ideas that have crossed my time quite recently. However I found that it lacks on rhythm but then again just that's my opinion. All in all, and as I've already pointed out the poem is one of a kind.
Take care, and keep on writing.
| Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
  I can feel a lot of emotion in this. It's like when someone is first gone, and you still have your routine and look for them without realizing it, and remember they're gone. And someone you swear you can see them, even though your logic tells you otherwise. Keep up the great writing!
| Posted on 2006-04-20 00:00:00 | by RumnMoxie | [ Reply to This ]


Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

1. Be honest.
2. Try not to give only compliments.
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Why did it make you feel that way?
5. Which parts?
6. What distracted from the piece?
7. What was unclear?
8. What does it remind you of?
9. How could it be improved?
10. What would you have done differently?
11. What was your interpretation of it?
12. Does it feel original?



82112