[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: You're Not Wanted Heredots

    Author: Metal Heart74
    Elite Ratio:    5.12 - 72/61/17
    Words: 125
    Class/Type: Poetry/Angry
    Total Views: 1326
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 701

       my friends came over really fucked up and this kind of pushed me over the edge. they just acted like it was their craphole of a room. they are drunk order pizza act fucking stupid and just bail when they feel, i am done taking their shit

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsYou're Not Wanted Heredots

    You spit in my face and treat me like shit
    I used to take it and not make a fit
    But today a change is underway
    trust me
    Do not try to fuck with me today

    My anger is only worsened by my pain
    My darkness is clouded only in this pouring rain

    I can't think straight, and the rage is strong
    I turn from the light, it pains before long
    You come over fucked up as usual
    tearing up my house acting like you don't know

    I want to calm down... but I can't
    All I wanna do is sit here and rant
    Stay away now you're not wanted here
    I fear I may kill you and not shed a tear

    Submitted on 2005-11-23 19:55:44     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Bleh. I've had some friends that I feel have just used me, so I know where you are coming from about that, for sure. This had a lot of emotion in it. You had a strong voice, but I'm sure that had a lot to do with the fact that you feel strongly about this. Great write... keep it up!

    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by DeadValentine | [ Reply to This ]
      "My darkness is clouded only in this pouring rain"


    "Stay away now you're not wanted here
    I fear I may kill you
    I fear I may not shed a tear"

    are both very awesome lines, but I especially love the power of the second one, you make it end so perfectly. Yeah my anger songs are much like these, they always end up the same way, usually with a death. But, I think the reason for this (at least in my case) is because you know you would get in trouble if you really killed someone, and you can't get in trouble at all if you write it down on paper, so really poetry is my escape, the paper just lets me know that I can't physically do anything stupid. Do you feel the same way as I do? But yeah, I hate friends like that though, they always take advantage of you, and then leave your house, and leave a huge mess, and obviously no one's left to clean it up but you
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      yea i know how it feels to have friends like that you just have to stand up to them and tell them that if they're gonna disrespect you like that then you aren't gonna take their [censored] anymore...but yea just a suggestion
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by poetry chica | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]