Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Scream for Mercydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: poetry chica
    ASL Info:    17/f/usa
    Elite Ratio:    3.03 - 93/98/34
    Words: 139
    Class/Type: Poetry/Cutting or Mutilation
    Total Views: 1090
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 808



    Description:
       to my mother


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsScream for Mercydots
    -------------------------------------------


    I want to hear you scream for mercy
    i want to hear you beg
    i want you to feel the pain i feel
    the pressure inside my head

    you wonder why i do this
    you wonder what is wrong
    did you ever stop to think
    that you're the one that's causing harm

    you yell at me and call me names
    make me feel like nothing
    you make me feel like i don't exist
    i just want to be able to feel something

    the blade sits so sleek and smooth
    and silver against my skin
    it slides so smoothly through my wrist
    as though it's paper thin

    i feel the pain for a little while
    but then it goes away
    and i wonder what i have to do
    to get that pain to stay




    Submitted on 2005-11-23 21:25:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Really good, very descriptive..I can relate to this like hell..Except I would dedicate it to my entire family..They make me feel like [censored]..and they don't know that I cut..And it hurts to know that i've been doing for 7 years and the only who is catching on is my brother, and he is making fun of me for it..And the people who cause this pain, are ussually blind as to who is causing it, thats normal..been there..But its best that way..Anywho this was really nice, the flow just made me want to keep reading..The pain was expressed thoroughly the entire way through..made reading it all worth the while..So keep up the great work, and i'm hoping that your mother will grow to accept and understand you more..lovely piece..take care

    Lucy^_^
    | Posted on 2006-04-30 00:00:00 | by rainbowXrazors | [ Reply to This ]
      I think you did an excellant job expressing your feelings, anger, pain , all very vivid, almost brutal, but in a good way you kno? i think its a very strong, emotional poem and i for one am adding it to my favorites.
    Also, i can definately relate, I cut too, but , though we have that in common, my parents just dont care that i do it, they ignore it and put me on medications, so i suppose i can understand some of what you feel, but i wish i could understand it entirely, definately a peice to ponder.
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by lucianraven | [ Reply to This ]
      wow so very true... my parents don't believe in depression and they say cutting is a stupid thing to do...so when i cut myself they didn't even realise that i am doing it which is in a good thing but also a bad thing...anywayz i couldn't c anything wrong with this poem it flowed well and had good ryhming...wonderful piece
    ++My Pain++
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
      You used a great expressive plot in this poem. It was very emotional and heart-felt. I can relate, only I don't cut, but I lock myself in my room and avoid my parents because everytime I'm around them they have something bad to say it seems. And I'll yell back and get in trouble. I don't want that, so I avoid it, and then I get in trouble for avoiding them...*sigh*
    So very complicated, lol. Anyway, good write.
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      One more of these poems that I really hope isn't from true experience...not saying it's not great just don't want anyone to really feel that way ...ya know??? It is really good though...expressing the pain vividly and gets your point across
    | Posted on 2005-11-23 00:00:00 | by tinkerbellsas | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    82131

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Untitled - 8/2017 written by homeless
    TSC written by rev.jpfadeproof
    No More Damn Love Poems written by rev.jpfadeproof
    your truest people written by Daniel Barlow
    Eyes written by homeless
    Forget written by Crestfallenman
    Un Lugar Para Siempre written by SavedDragon
    rimbaudian reverie written by CrypticBard
    Tidal written by OneDarkFlame92
    Chapter written by Crestfallenman
    Moon and Me written by rev.jpfadeproof
    The Forgotten Umbrella written by garnet4david
    Two written by homeless
    Dreamt written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Outside the Chain written by Wolfwatching
    Confessions and shit... written by Daniel Barlow
    Sleeping Giant written by MyPeriodical
    Untitled - September 19, 2017 written by homeless
    The Phoenetians and Us written by Torie
    Starry night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    April 1, 2018 written by homeless
    Reveled Night written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Wisp of You written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Just a fantasy written by TiaanK
    trish trillion written by Daniel Barlow
    Jar (working title) written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Untitled 2 written by homeless
    Collision written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Still written by rev.jpfadeproof
    X written by homeless

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry