A young woman
A young man, the man is licentious in thought
His emotions for the woman run dry
And are replaced by urges
No feelings for her
But simple urges he cannot discern
He escapes his mind so he will not harm the woman
The young woman,
her mind is similarily vague to transluscence
It lets in a bit of light to let her mind wander
Of the young man
And then she cannot concentrate
For he doesn't have true feelings for her
And a tear slips from her eye
And she vows never to remininisce
Of the young man nor his immmaturity again
| Amy first the title.. The first word.. Wtf I didn't know what that meant. I had to look it up. Why do you put big words for titles. Make them simple.|
Anyways this is pretty sad in a way... but strange because some reason I think your writings somehow go into your life. But not completely. You make it sound entirely differant but it seems the same. Maybe I am just thinking differantly. Maybe I am. Maybe I am thinking the same.
But Who Knows.
|| Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by XxStephyxX04 | [ Reply to This ] || Great write|
To me it describes a male who had other woman in his life and grew tired of living his life only for the person he loved
Its really sad
Because the emotion I get from this write tells me the first woman was his soulmate
Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my poetry and let me know what you think
|| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ] || What does it mean… I don't know.|
I do follow the flow and like the images of feelings as emotions and urges as lust.
It takes us into the emptiness of life. It doesn't need to mean anything. It is OK to be simply a snapshot of what is, kind of like a vacation picture that you share with friends.
For what it is or is not worth, you might look at the term young man in the last line. You established a sense of age in the opening. I am not certain that it adds anything in the last line.
I like it. Thanks for sharing it.
|| Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by beatthedrum | [ Reply to This ] |