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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Chordsdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: akaietowa-ru_18
    ASL Info:    20/F/Belly of the Beast
    Elite Ratio:    3.68 - 101/125/64
    Words: 445
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Misc
    Total Views: 972
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 3054



    Description:
       Another one with a second language, and this time it's FRENCH! I hate french though, so I don't know why I did this.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsChordsdots
    -------------------------------------------


    English Version:

    What type of world would this be,
    what type of life would I lead,
    if this eternal hell keeps on playing the cords?

    Cords say everything to my way of life.
    Every time I see little children
    suffer through what they must live.
    To think I used to live like that.

    Mother always told me,
    before she left: "you must live."
    Live to what is what I'd like to ask her....

    I die, and I live!
    Yet I don't feel any ignorance.
    No stubborn idiot reaching out.
    No feelings that will destroy me in the end.

    "You must live", is just a fanciful thing.
    Tears never reach my face.
    Blood never comes out.
    Yet they do to others.

    I can't feel love,
    Wasn't born with it,
    Won't ever learn how to gain it.

    Whoever will fall for me,
    will face so much pain.
    Nothing could save my father.
    That is why he hates me....

    What type of world would this be,
    what type of life would I lead,
    if this eternal hell keepts on playing the cords?

    I only ask for one to help me
    feel the things that time
    has taken away from me.
    To stop the cords from playing
    so I can be free...

    French Version:

    hein taper de mondiale volei lequel soit,
    hein taper de vie volei j' conduire,
    if lequel eternel enfer garde allume juoant le corde?

    Corde disent toute en mon chemin de vie.
    Chacun fois j' voyez peu progeniture
    souffris pret hein elles faut vivent.
    En pensons j' utiliser en vivent de suite cet.

    Mere toujours raconta 'm,
    avant elle sortie: "te faut vivent."
    Vivent en hein es hein j' volei en demander sa...

    J' meurs, et j' vivent!
    Cependant j' fais ne sentent un ignorance.
    Non obstine idiot parvenant flame.
    Non sentants quel testament detruisent je dans le finir.

    "Te faut vivent," es juste un imaginativo zinzin.
    Larmes no jamais allonge mon visage.
    Sang no jamais vient flame.
    Encore elles construire en autre

    J' peut pos sentent aimez,
    In peut ne avec a lui,
    Volli peut jauais apprends comme en gagner a lui

    Chiunque volonte choir pour je.
    volonte visage donc redement mal
    Rien put sauvons mien dabe.
    C' es pourquoi lui hait moi...

    Hein taper de mondiale volei lequel soit,
    hein taper de vie vole j' conduire,
    if lequel eternel enfer garde allume juoant le corde?

    J' seul demandos pour une en aide je
    sentent le trucs c' fois
    avez pris loin flame je.
    En cessation le cordes flame jouant
    tellement j' peuvent soit loisirs....




    Submitted on 2005-11-24 13:07:39     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      that was awesome. when i was 14 i sucked terribly at writing but the 'chords' idea in this was amazing. it caught my attention immediatly. i could tell you felt powerful when you wrote this. your emotions and words made your piece come out more and told an amazing story. curious about the instrumental on this. piano perhaps?
    | Posted on 2005-12-04 00:00:00 | by poeticblindness | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm impressed by the many young poets and poetess that are arising. Young talent and so expressive in language is an outstanding ability. I am finding that real talent doesn't lie within the older generation, but the younger.

    But there is always an exception in the thoughts above. Some of my new poetic friends have outdone others even those who have made a name for themselves.

    Analysis: Your poetic talent cries out in this piece using "chords" as a metaphor to demonstrate the endless strumming of sad events that occur in your daily life.

    The impact I find is in the end:

    "What type of world would this be,
    what type of life would I lead,
    if this eternal hell keepts on playing the cords?"

    "I only ask for one to help me
    feel the things that time
    has taken away from me.
    To stop the cords from playing
    so I can be free..."

    "To stop the chords from playing..." I can imagine a guitarist, violinist playing a melancholic tune of misery, frustration, sadness with a yearning desire and passion to be set free. To play, to truly live, and feel the beauty of strumming a new song with intense passion.

    Luv it! Saby~*~

    Continue to write my poetic friend.
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by CaramelCandy | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent Write

    With this write you are reaching out for someone to come into your life and share your emotions and fill the vacancy time has created
    Stay Positive
    You will find this person
    Your to positive of a person not do
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      It was good, in an abstract sort of way. It's an unusal peice for someone to related to but somehow I think we've all had weird times in our lives where our mind started to think in a completely differant way for few days/hours. Why do you hate french? is it just cause it's a pain in the ass to learn? : D

    -Mi
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by Mieko | [ Reply to This ]
      Mmmm, very deep here. I was wondering why she felt that way, and then got a clue from the "father" line.
    Very sad, and slightly cynical, I liked the idea of Hell playing the music of your life and you dancing the tune.

    The French version, as always, dripped its owb music as it danced off the tongue, I really enjoyed reading it aloud.

    Excellent job, and interesting from an analytical viewpoint.
    Well done

    Be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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