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    dots Submission Name: My daddydots

    Author: samyalone
    ASL Info:    17/f/my room
    Elite Ratio:    3.85 - 93/67/18
    Words: 155
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1143
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1079

       I donno whatto put really...narrated by a seven year old girl

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMy daddydots

    Daddy went away
    To a place far from here,
    I'll see him someday
    And we will live without fear.

    Mommy said he's glad
    To have a daughter so strong,
    Not ever angry or sad
    That he's been gone for so long.

    I talk to him a lot,
    Tell him about mom and me,
    About times he forgot,
    And then my tears are set free.

    In my room I cry,
    Hoping I get to see him soon,
    I look at the night sky,
    And pray to He who lives in the moon.

    I am now only seven
    It has been two long years
    I'll meet him in heaven
    As long as I shed no more tears.

    Remember my daddy please
    Who faught in your silly wars,
    But then fell to his knees,
    And who's spirit in the wind now soars.

    Submitted on 2005-11-24 16:17:14     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      That was beautiful. I first thought he just left you and your mom, as my dad did. Then it seems as you talk over the phone with him and he doesn't remember the good times, when it was just you and him, when you were just daddy's little girl. Your poem has so much emotion in it, i would cry, but i'm in class right now.

    | Posted on 2006-03-01 00:00:00 | by daughterofdeath | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww. Cute. I liked how you made it to sound as if he'd left intentionally, but he was actually killed in combat.

    Nice job

    | Posted on 2005-12-17 00:00:00 | by Raven_TheWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      I'm out of words. This was a powerful write. You made it sound as though he left you guys intentionally, but at the end I see he passed away. You are right these wars are silly. This is very cool, good job!
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]
      Very good and very powerful. Nice twist at the end. Very good verse and rhyme shceme. I didn't understand why it was neccessary to add the HTML codes though, but that's my only complaint.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]

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