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    dots Submission Name: Chrisdots

    Author: divine chaos
    ASL Info:    16 f nsw australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.14 - 15/23/6
    Words: 200
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 1520
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1166

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? this actualy about 2 different guys both called chris. They both left without saying goodbye

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I to try hold back my all tears
    As the memories come flooding in
    The song that broke my heart
    The heart that was stolen by him
    I recall the words we shared
    The way we talked and what we said
    Our eyes were filled with love
    And our hearts didnít feel like lead
    His voice was soft and kind
    His smile was unconfident and weak
    Everyone always judged him
    Before they let him speak
    His blue eyes spoke a thousand words
    And sang of heartbreak and sorrow
    He could speak to me without words
    And he always lived for tomorrow
    I cried the day he left
    The day I found his note
    I wonder where he is right now
    And why he never once wrote
    Didnít he say he loved me?
    Or was it just an exaggeration
    Iím not even sure he was real
    Was he just my imagination?
    He said heíd never leave me
    So why did go away
    Why didnít he say he was going?
    Why didnít I have a say?
    All I want is him here
    Or at least to know where heís gone
    He left me here alone
    Alone and tired and torn

    Submitted on 2005-11-24 17:10:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      "Didnít he say he loved me?
    Or was it just an exaggeration
    Iím not even sure he was real
    Was he just my imagination?"

    ...I love this line because it's something that I've thought about writing, but didn't know how to, and you've conquered my goal, nice. But yeah, I love this piece, and it's so ironic, how the two guys' names are Chris, but the thing that I like most is that it brings me back to my song "I loved you to bits" I guess someone can relate to mine as well as I did to yours
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      Quite a captivating right. One hint it's spelled heartbreak, not heart brake. Other than that it's very good. I liked these lines
    "I'm not sure he was even real
    Was he just my imagination?"
    Adds a new sort of depth to it, offering a very interesting idea or surprise.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by ParanoidParadox | [ Reply to This ]
      So incredibly sad. This sounds more like
    a song than anything.
    You should put it to music.
    I'm sorry you had to go through so much pain. Thank you for sharing this with
    Elite Skills.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by _1JayeFanEver | [ Reply to This ]
      I can relate to this poem in a lot of ways. It was very captivating, emotional, and very, very heartfelt. I'm sorry that you went through and are most likely still going through this much pain. Thanks for sharing this, I know that it must've been hard.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]

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