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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: the way it'll be...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: nwproud
    ASL Info:    23 / vancouver, wa
    Elite Ratio:    5.47 - 253/226/56
    Words: 136
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 250
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 936



    Description:
       hmm, i think my girl is starting to feel the effects of me being gone, and we havent even deployed yet...and its getting to me...especially when others are comforting me, and being realistic about it, when thats what i need her to be doing...i dont want to lose her, but she is losing me...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsthe way it'll be...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    suddenly a new face appears

    under the title of a memory,

    accusations soon will come,

    and words of anger bound to be...

    preconceive advances taken,

    understand potential to fall,

    come to reveal you are the one,

    play for keeps; its nothing or all...

    so i direct your focus on the past

    to eliminate that which binds you,

    trust your hear if indeed you love,

    for possibility is long past due...

    notice excerpts from past life,

    recorded in foreign voices,

    conforming the girl in my mind,

    what was no different than is...

    so in my eyes is happiness,

    though in my heart is grief,

    for the answers i will not give,

    she'll take her heart and leave...




    Submitted on 2005-11-24 18:44:09     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      The inevitable end of the relationship sounds like a foregone conclusion, with accusations of cheating waiting to be hurled and fickle hearts ready to wander. Your heart is aparently convinced, even if your eyes (senses) hold some hope for a reconciliation as new faces appear in her life under the title 'old friend.' Too bad you have to deal with this so close to deployment and even further separation, but separation may prove what's real and what's temporary. Nice write and good luck.
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with the person that left the last comment...you really do have potential as a songwriter. You can read something and see the difference between a person that specifically writes poetry and the like...and those that do or should write songs also. I think that you have a couple pieces that you could make into songs. Music is my life and seeing a person that could become a songwriter makes me soooooo happy.

    I am sorry that I didn't call. Being a manager puts me in schedule that is unknown. It is never a set schedule. I will write you a letter. I want to write you a real letter and send it to you in the mail...was that your address that you gave to me the last time that you emailed me...and would it be delivered to you before you go to Iraq?

    love and prayers
    dre
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by longwinterdays | [ Reply to This ]
      I am confused and left wondering if you are speaking of someone you love or have loved and lost. However, I see potential as a songwriter in this offering. If you play an instrument , perhaps music to go with these words ? I would like to read more of your stuff.
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by BLee | [ Reply to This ]



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