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    dots Submission Name: untitleddots

    Author: rubberducky
    ASL Info:    14
    Elite Ratio:    2.51 - 17/22/17
    Words: 78
    Class/Type: Poetry/Venting
    Total Views: 894
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499

       I tried to sum up the thoughts streaming through my head about what i want and what i wish. any suggestions any bashings are welcome.

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.


    I want everything.

    I want nothing.

    I want to be someone I'm not.

    I want now

    I want forever

    I wish I was

    I want love

    I want happiness

    I want peace within myself

    I want freedom

    I want wisdom

    I want to run away

    I want to be

    I want to fly

    I want to give

    and I want to live

    Submitted on 2005-11-24 20:35:15     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I know how you feel about wanting. And it's good that you wrote something that i as a reader can relate to. But i think you could make it alittle bit better. Maket he words more powerful to show more emotion. Other than that it was good. Maybe you should check out my poem Neva its kinda like a vent.

    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by Poeticprincess | [ Reply to This ]
      i liked how with every line I was like: That's me, that's me. I think most people could relate to these feelings. I think you can make it better. For example, you can make each feeling into a stanza. To show more emotions. It's just what i think.
    I have a poem: The war of emotions, hopefully you can check it out.

    Peace, PinkFairy
    | Posted on 2005-11-24 00:00:00 | by PinkFairy | [ Reply to This ]

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