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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Experiment 601dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Razorain
    Elite Ratio:    3.33 - 24/24/9
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Story/Nostalgia
    Total Views: 148
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 600



    Description:
       Reminiscence...


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsExperiment 601dots
    -------------------------------------------


    In blindness I saw
    Him essence not raw
    Ignorant was I
    Ignoring the Eye
    Stop not it did
    Brought not defeat
    Stay not the strong door
    May then destroy flaw

    Though he came by order
    O there i don’t bother
    Fiesty was he before
    Might stick me even more
    Eventually bonds came
    Even agreed the flame

    For my roots unchanged
    Tore might myself ranged
    Endlessly tried I to stay
    Then restrained myself today
    Till only myself destroyed
    Still then my actions deployed




    Submitted on 2005-11-25 00:49:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Sorry but I couldn't help asking... How can you post a picture here? I've been unsuccsefully trying to do. Hope you can help me.
    | Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]
      It's really disjointed. Each line is really short and separate. Some of them don't make sense. Maybe a little background in the description. I don't write poetry well, so I can't tell you how to improve it; but I'll give you my standard answer - read more. It usually works.

    P.S. The title doesn't make any sense. More detail could help.
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by HaldirLives | [ Reply to This ]
      I found this one rather strange ... it's got this funny quality I can't really describe. However I did like it, I reckon that it was really engrossing how you played with the language. Be it as it may I thought (this being just my personal appreciation) that there was just too much rhyme on the poem which in a way stopped it from sounding serious. And just one question... why did you choose that title??? I did not grasp how it was related to the subsequent lines or the poem it self for that matter. Well... keep writing take care.
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by Ethan Brody | [ Reply to This ]



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    January 10 07
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