Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Masked Naturedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jussy
    ASL Info:    21 ...guy....waterworld
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 66/64/21
    Words: 84
    Class/Type: Poetry/Love
    Total Views: 732
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 499



    Description:
       This piece is about love being a contridicting emotion that hurts and pleasures constantly.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMasked Naturedots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I cut my arm,
    like the tree bleeds sap,
    I saw the nature of love.
    Sweet and painful taste
    scorch my mouth, one last time in bed.
    I love my pin prick that was you,
    closed eyes relieve my pressure.
    Jumping foward from the scraper, make my dreams come true.
    Of a happiness with no time nor measure.
    So let me swim in our looking glass
    one more precious time,
    before you go in a mask and steal this heart
    of mine.




    Submitted on 2005-11-25 02:44:06     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The poetic effect was admired here...I loved your imagry and your almost-hidden-infront of the reader messages. This was a great connection in itself and the words & format were great. You have alot of talent. this is a favorites addition.
    Peace
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by silent_death12 | [ Reply to This ]
      "When I cut my arm,
    like the tree bleeds sap"

    Hey man, I really can't get enough of your writing. I really love the messages in your poems more than anything, dude, you are an excellent writer, and I'm sure you're sick of hearing this from me, but I'm being serious, you are an awesome writer...

    ...hey, check out my site, and see if you like anything on it, and give me some feedback, give me an honest critique because I wanna know what you have to say about my work, because you could probably help me out in how to make it all come together

    Peace

    Codee
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]
      i admire the symbolism in this poem alot of the time i try to create this sort of effect it seams like it comes so naturally to you. it took me a while to catch on though but im probably just slow!
    | Posted on 2005-11-25 00:00:00 | by fluta | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    82261

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry