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Awaited Answers

Author: Ethan Brody
ASL Info:    40- M - Chile
Elite Ratio:    8 - 443 /206 /79
Words: 115
Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed
Total Views: 1137
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 644


Awaited Answers

He wonders why he was born like this
Or why he can not be totally fixed

He wonders about this coming day
And all he can see is sheer dismay

He wonders why he’s alone
Since others always get so well on

He wonders about himself
And all the shitty crap he gets to learn

He wonders about the kids
And all the stuff they call disease

He wonders about tomorrow
And all the pain it’ll bring plus sorrow

He wonders about his friends
Do they think of him as much as he think of them?

Submitted on 2005-11-26 00:12:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  i liked how you ended the piece with the question, of how you would in a way do anything for someone you care about but do they care enough about you to do the same?
they only really problem i had with this piece was that you rhymed one part but then left the rest to fall into place, and when i read it, it made it sound weird, but other then that this was a nice read and one which most of us ask ourselves

my pain
| Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
  I found the suggested form a little hard to follow, and though it seems a rhyme is intended, I think you would do better to forsake a rhyme altogether and just let the poem flow naturally.

It's so sad, and in that it is beautiful. I like the way that it leaves mush to be implied - I like the ambiguity in your style. :)
| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by Starless Knight | [ Reply to This ]
  i liked it. fits the theme presented in title. however, the i don't know the rhyming schematics but all in all i'd say it's good.
| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by dussin | [ Reply to This ]

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