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Author: Ethan Brody ASL Info:    40- M - Chile Elite Ratio:    8 - 443 /206 /79 Words: 115

Class/Type: Poetry /Depressed Total Views: 1137 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 644

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He wonders why he was born like this Or why he can not be totally fixed He wonders about this coming day And all he can see is sheer dismay He wonders why he’s alone Since others always get so well on He wonders about himself And all the shitty crap he gets to learn He wonders about the kids And all the stuff they call disease He wonders about tomorrow And all the pain it’ll bring plus sorrow He wonders about his friends Do they think of him as much as he think of them?

Submitted on 2005-11-26 00:12:16     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

i liked how you ended the piece with the question, of how you would in a way do anything for someone you care about but do they care enough about you to do the same? they only really problem i had with this piece was that you rhymed one part but then left the rest to fall into place, and when i read it, it made it sound weird, but other then that this was a nice read and one which most of us ask ourselves my pain

| Posted on 2006-01-15 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]

I found the suggested form a little hard to follow, and though it seems a rhyme is intended, I think you would do better to forsake a rhyme altogether and just let the poem flow naturally. It's so sad, and in that it is beautiful. I like the way that it leaves mush to be implied - I like the ambiguity in your style. :)

| Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by Starless Knight | [ Reply to This ]

i liked it. fits the theme presented in title. however, the i don't know the rhyming schematics but all in all i'd say it's good.

| Posted on 2005-11-26 00:00:00 | by dussin | [ Reply to This ]

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