Description: i actually wrote this for my grandson, but I believe this still a child in all of us so I thought I'd share it with all of you
adnil
Forever More -------------------------------------------
Dragons flew across the lands once upon a time
While wizards waved their magical spells
Knights in shinning armor ,saved ladies in distress
And chivalry was put to its greatest test
A time filled with beauty and mystery
With castles and dungeons ever so eerie
Myths and legends spring from this well
When once upon a time magic and fairies dwelled
As little mischievous pixies and trolls
Played pranks on the good fairy folks
Now the wizards,fairies and dragons
Pixies and hobbit's have long since gone..
Except in this brightly lit land in time
Where by the moon light they dance
In a make believe world that still enchants
Colorful fire breathing dragons soar
Living on..In the forever more..
This was really cute...did he like it? there was some awesome imagry but I Think the flow felt a little cut up and off in a few places...no big deal I think that wasn't your main intent with this one. overall nice...brought back alot of memeories.. peace
Oh this one I like Linda How in the world did I miss this one when you first put this out This write quickly brings me back to a time I never truly left called my childhood You know I can honestly say that is one of the reasons I am as positive as I am is because I never lost that inner child Thank You for writing this As I leave your page I am getting ready to travel aboard a dragon to fight negativity once again God Bless Ron
Really cute poem, I enjoyed reading it very much. It has a childish tone, but that’s good, it fits nicely. The flow is good. And you are right, there is a child in all of us, and if there is not, well it should be. I’m in love with “Lord of the rings”, and I was about 24 when I red it for the first time
There are lots of delightful images in this poem…I must admit I am a sucker for dragons my self… I do have a coupe of niggles though…I hope you wont mind my saying….but you use the phrase 'once upon a time ' in line one and again in line eight maybe you should cut one of them…. and in line two you have ' While wizards waved their magical spells' the word 'waved' gives me problems I think it should be waved their magic wands or wove their magic spells
But generally this is an enchanting poem, and it would be well worth a little tidying up…thanks for sharing it….. ' 'A time filled with beauty and mystery'' the little child you wrote it for is very lucky indeed
This poem did'nt much make since to me. Also, the rymeing was on and off on different lines. I like the way you painted a picture with your words though. Very creative. Creativeness counts most in poetry. Off course like all writes, this poem has potential, Just maybe fix up the ryme scheme a little bit and there ya go! great effort!
its got a really nice flow and uses amazing imagery. paints a magnificent picture in my mind and reminds me of the fairytales my mum used 2 read me when i was little. its a really good write
Submission Name: Forever More
