Description: This is just the start. I've had bad writers block for a while now, but I kinda forced myself into trying. Let me know if I should keep going with this!
That Feeling -------------------------------------------
You'd look deep into my eyes
Unlocking the beauty inside
I embrace your love
From that feeling, I no longer hide.
So powerful, it's over whelming
I can't get my mind around it
Amazing, and so wonderful
My heart can only flip.
Hiding from the truths
All that we could share
I hid, but my heart is now open
My feelings, I'm ready to bare.
I can't deny that feeling
Being hid for much too long
Not expressing in a simple poem
Or expressed in a lovely song.
That feeling I now embrace
With your love and your kiss
A simple yes, for all of it
To think what I would've missed.
I love your work! I'm still convinced you should be a lyricist. The poem reads well, but set to music I think it would be perfect. Call me biased but I swear its begging for a musical score. My favorite lines are:
"You'd look deep into my eyes Unlocking the beauty inside"
It reminded me of looking into the eyes of my sweetheart and feeling more beautiful because of what I saw in his eyes as I let him look into mine. At times the flow of the poem was not quite right. Perhaps I read it wrong. The feeling and mental image were without a doubt clear. I very much enjoyed reading your poem and look forward to reading the next.
i think you could go on with this piece although i have to agree with the other comment its nice just the way it is but i don't really like the ending of the poem it confused me at first but then when i read it a second time i got your point. the first two lines however were nicely written i'm not a fan of love poems but this one was a nice one. ++My Pain++
I think it's pretty good...You could stop it there, might not want to carry on too much though. 'Hid, it's been for too long' doesn't quite sound right, consider changing it. Overall greatness!
Submission Name: That Feeling
