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    dots Submission Name: And I Stutterdots

    Author: toyysruss
    Elite Ratio:    4.2 - 494/336/134
    Words: 187
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Longing
    Total Views: 1226
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1385


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAnd I Stutterdots

    you're going to want me when you're thirty
    i'm not going to be able to wait all these years
    all these years that go by,
    in the blink of an eye.
    is the reason i cry.
    take the time,pause....and

    you sure did want me when you was twenty
    time sure seemed to fly by
    the smile was on you're face,
    and nothing can replace,that clue that you hold
    i say can't be sold

    i've lost my mind in this time
    you're feelings that are misplaced
    this place,this place
    that i seem to dwell in.hell,i'm just looking for my friend.
    as i seen her in the past,
    fastfoward is pushed at last

    you're going to want me when you want me
    want me,want me!
    and if you don't know the clue
    youre hands out wide
    and look within.........................
    and that heart that you see,that is me.
    i gave you that clue long ago
    don't go,don't go!
    with my heart in you're hand.please
    that i am only a half a man,without
    you're hand you're
    i cry,pause and(sigh)

    Submitted on 2005-11-26 23:22:53     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I liked the beat of this and the wordplay you used and I liked the pause, (sigh).
    Good title and piece.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this
    To me you were speaking of someone who seems to be trapped in the past
    And is afraid to move forward and enjoy the beauty of living a full life
    I was there my friend
    Despertly afraid to escape the past then I realized the past makes the future
    It is what made us the person we are today so we may move forward in life
    Great Write
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Stutter yes you do! I am trying to read and reread this poem but it must say that structurly it is interesting because i am not a fan of restricted style LOL LOOK AT MY SHYT, but i am a fan of control which you show that you maintained throughout a very organized peice. But honestly i disagree with the message i am getting from it... SO why are you recieving a comment? Because Like it or not credit it due for the control and effort put into the peice I personally despise not having what and who i want but i will probbably die a lonely old man whose baby mamas and ex wives had murdered for insurance money lol
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by Atrip187 | [ Reply to This ]

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