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    dots Submission Name: Three Simple Words (I Love Yo)dots

    Author: divine chaos
    ASL Info:    16 f nsw australia
    Elite Ratio:    3.14 - 15/23/6
    Words: 436
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 660
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2536

       What are you looking for in terms of feedback? Any background information behind the piece? Hints? Is this just to vent? Emotional state while writing?

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    dotsThree Simple Words (I Love Yo)dots

    As I silently sit by the water and ponder
    I slowly let out my thoughts to wander
    I question the things that right now surround me
    Then question my answers and question what could be
    I question three words for quiet a while
    I pause for a second and Iím left in denial
    Two people sit upon the water's tranquil edge
    They are slightly hidden by the thorny rose hedge
    A boy and a girl, they sit together
    A wrinkled old willow shields them from the weather
    I listen to the wind and its gentle whisper
    And watch as it blows past the girl and whips her
    I silently wait for the boy to kiss her
    To say how much he truly missed her
    He wants to kiss her but he wonít
    Something in his eyes says donít
    He refrains from speaking and I donít know why
    He doesnít dare try to look her in the eye
    He doesnít see how much he hurts her
    She canít help but think he wants to desert her
    He stumbles on words he canít seem to say
    Three simple words seem to cause much dismay
    Such simple lines he planned in his head
    But such simple words just cannot be said
    She never thought sheíd feel this confused
    Like he never loved her, she feels so used
    He just canít say what she wants to hear
    So she speaks her mind with just one tear
    She walks away with nothing to say
    Whatís the point if he wonít say it today?
    Three simple words that can brighten her heart
    Can just as easily tear them apart
    The same story repeats itís self over and over
    Two love sick teens, the milk maid and drover
    Boy meets girl and falls in love
    They fit together like hand and glove
    Three simple words the girl can say
    But for boy three words seem to crumble like clay
    Girl gets sad and runs away
    Boy canít help her, canít save the day
    Now boy and girl, they both fall apart
    Because boy canít seem to speak from his heart
    ĎI love youí, words so often said
    During courting and after youíre wed
    ĎI love youí seems like nothing to some
    But it means a lot when youíve found Ďthe oneí
    ĎI love youí was her only request
    He left this part out and told her the rest
    So she left him without even a good bye
    Boy feels so torn he might soon cry
    Three little words, so simple and mundane
    But three simple words can cause so much painÖ

    Submitted on 2005-11-27 02:06:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      this is a pretty write.
    seems a little over-written, though, if you know what i mean.
    and the subject matter's a little generic. but its presented in a more creative way, so...

    i like how you wrote from an outsider's perspective. almost like it doesn't affect you. like you were trying to convince someone [possibly yourself] that it doesnt affect you.

    v. nice though.
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by mordantveracity | [ Reply to This ]
      A really beautiful write
    I agree with you that when someone says I love You to some one else it is a beautiful way of expresasing the deep love we have
    Gor I very long time I did not know the meaning of the word Love
    Untill I understood its true meaning it to me was just a word
    The world needs to realize to say these three beautiful words can help heal a lot of lonely hearts
    Great Write!

    And Thank You for the recent comments
    I very much appreciate them and am Glad my write was able to bring some happiness into your life
    Take Care
    | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]

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