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i dont know, with out fail one of us is always busy i dont know, with out you i fail to breath i dont know, with out you i dont want to be i dont know, with out you there is no me with out fail, you will love me with out fail, your always there with out fail, i cry when you leave me with out fail, i always fall you will love me, till the end you will love me, till im dead you will love me, with out condition you will love me, and ill love you till the end, we will love till the end, we will be together till the end, we shall fight till the end, we'll always make it fine we will love, i dont know how long we will love, with out fail untill death we will love, you will love me as i love you we will love, till the end |
I really like the repetition here. I wrote a poem once (on a completely different topic) in a similar style but I couldn't get it to work as well as you have here. Though the 'we always make it fine' is a little clumsy for me - you could just say, 'we'll be fine' or something. But on the whole, very nicely done| Posted on 2006-03-17 00:00:00 | by herrbench | [ Reply to This ] | i'm not one into love. i actualli don't even believe it realli exists. but...I think this could use some work, it confused me a little bit, and I didn't realli no what was realli being said...but just keep writing, you'll get better than you already are. | | Posted on 2005-11-27 00:00:00 | by AngryAtTheWorld | [ Reply to This ] | |