Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: In Linedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: throughmyvoice
    ASL Info:    19/f/US of A
    Elite Ratio:    3.63 - 69/113/51
    Words: 418
    Class/Type: Random Thoughts/Serious
    Total Views: 739
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 2572



    Description:
       d'Holbach.

    i've got to piece the words together in a way that makes sense


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsIn Linedots
    -------------------------------------------


    It's hard to believe that once I lose consciousness the world paces on
    The pace I speak of is set without consideration
    Without thoughts and ponderings to give reason
    It is given without reason; and no one stops to jarr the dull harmony in an awkward and unique note
    Instead the techno beat drones on
    It is at this point in the concert I refund my ticket
    And sulk in my car, alone, and listen to Bach
    These people are one-minded
    With one goal, a single burning motivation
    That really has nothing behind the transparent facade
    That really has no support for disclaims made
    They keep staring at the sidewalk paved with specks of lost imagination, bits and pieces of discovery, and concrete stability
    They take the world for granted, so they don't bother to ask why they are in a line
    Shuffling along in a walk that ends with no point
    But then again, it didn't begin for a reason either
    And the people, losing their ability to wonder
    To look up at marshmallow clouds and see other possibilities
    To look each other in the eye and see something more than a window to sight
    I wish they could see through the window, to the inside
    But all that there is to see is the obligatory mechanism of the soul
    Clockwork, metal functioning only because it was built to do so
    Where is the yearning to live to love? To love to live?
    When did each breath inhaled stop being joyful and each exhalation start being ungrateful?
    Since when did it become inevitable that growing up meant we had to stop being children?
    Moments of time that are woven together in a cloak only worn because clothing is an unquestioned staple
    Monotonous motion
    People in line, drooping heads, grey and weary
    And unwary they are missing out on life
    They stand in line because they lack the passion to do otherwise
    To jump, to scream, shout and sob thanks
    They are obligated to live
    Id rather have a bead of water continually drip onto my forehead
    And feel and hate and appreciate and live
    Than to just live
    To live because you don't know what else to do with yourself
    I pray to whatever god that will listen I will not stumble onto that path of system
    That's when humans are truly machines and machines are vital for metal happiness
    That's when I become frustrated with the world and weep for the soullessness of mankind




    Submitted on 2005-11-28 00:10:23     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      When I started reading this poem, I said, "ugh, another disgruntled teen..." but by the time I got halfway down I couldn't stop reading. There's a passion behind your words that not only places them next to each other on the screen; it draws pictures right in front of my eyes. And the pictures I see are all true. People sadden me too. All the answers to life are here on earth. Yet we look to heaven or hell for our escape. The mindlessness of our species has smothered any chance we have in this era of finding who we really are. Those of us who still see it can only begin to lose hope because though we realize life is in our control, we are still vastly outnumbered by the other people who would rather deny their very humanity and become a robot built to fulfill someone else's desires.
    Beautiful poem. I wish it wasn't true.
    | Posted on 2005-12-09 00:00:00 | by ghostknight | [ Reply to This ]
      The perfect time to insert the Alice Cooper song Cold Machines;

    You don't know my name
    You don't know my number
    You don't know my face at all
    We walk right past each other
    Every single day
    Like cold machines
    We're marching on and on and on and on and on

    Got your thumb print always with me
    Got your barcode memorized
    They came here to electroshock me
    But can they erase you from my mind?


    I can't really say all that much. Other than people really need to open their eyes and pay attention to what really matters; The little details everyone ignores, The colors of the earth, To ignore the petty things and look at the smaller and more significant things. Colors, faces, expressions and what's behind the mask we all wear. To care is one thing most take for granted. To hate is something many say too often. To live is a chance far too many miss out on.

    Thank you for this phenominal piece, you're a very talented writer. I look forward to reading more of your work.

    Happy Holidays!

    Sammy
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Raven_TheWolf | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    82554

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Primitive Lapse written by Crestfallenman
    The Unicorn written by BlazeFlamme
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (7) written by endlessgame23
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Records I written by Raphael
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (5) written by endlessgame23
    Journey written by endlessgame23
    a mood to be free written by Daniel Barlow
    Carry written by saartha
    an unashamed poverty written by Daniel Barlow
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (2) written by endlessgame23
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    Shi written by ShyOne
    Yes written by poetotoe
    The Old Mill written by Wolfwatching
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (3) written by endlessgame23
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth (4) written by endlessgame23
    a safe place written by Daniel Barlow
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    I AM THANKFUL FOR written by Ramneet
    Physician, Heal Thyself written by WriteSomething
    Cover written by saartha
    Or are we written in the sand? written by Chelebel
    My Four Seasons written by faideddarkness
    You read free written by poetotoe
    Silent Screams In Silent Dreams written by poetotoe
    4th Season of Vivaldi written by HisNameIsNoMore
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    winners circle written by ShyOne

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry