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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Obsessiondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: auntwheezie
    ASL Info:    45/Female/Dartmouth NS
    Elite Ratio:    4.37 - 75/57/18
    Words: 124
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 228
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 855



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsObsessiondots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cold as ice the blood in your veins
    emotions stunted in growth.
    This thing hiding in your heart
    continues to fester and grow.
    It shadows your world
    Clouds your heart
    Till reson no longer remains.
    It hides and whispers it's poisonous darts
    Suspicion and anger rein.

    Hurt blossoms within us while you push us away.
    Dislike and bitterness flourish
    You see wrongs where none have been.

    Your chief topic of conversation
    Is betrayal, consipiracy and trust.
    This childish behaviour must end my friend
    Or only lonely will your lifetime be.
    That would be the greatest of shames for sure
    Because of the warmth you have locked inside.
    The love that is hidden and overshadowed
    By the cancer growing in your soul.




    Submitted on 2005-11-28 09:06:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Is that really the true nature of obsession?

    This is is a very skillfully written poem, with much truth within it. The person you are writing about is a sad, frustrating, but interesting character.

    Most lines are flawless, but "Or alone you'll be for your life" is a little awkwardly put. It could be "Or only lonely will your lifetime be," or something like that.

    Apart from that everything is good.

    Lulu la Feyne
    | Posted on 2006-02-14 00:00:00 | by Lulu La Feyne | [ Reply to This ]



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