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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Lightning Bugs Medots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: cuddledumplin
    ASL Info:    36/ f/UK
    Elite Ratio:    4.08 - 6269/5927/526
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 876
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 465



    Description:
       I'm not too sure about this one, but most of the stuff I'm writing lately is really odd.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLightning Bugs Medots
    -------------------------------------------


    When I'm blissfully asleep
    I hear the rumbling roar
    of that quick bright beast.
    I shake like I'm shocked.
    My dream explodes,
    and since these home movies
    are soul mirrors
    I wonder how long
    I'm in for bad luck.
    When the animal moves
    onto other prey,
    I'll try to gather
    a sizable shard
    or settle for the next blockbuster
    my mind has in store.




    Submitted on 2005-11-28 14:49:43     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I do get it, and I like this part especially:

    "my dream explodes
    and since these home movies
    are soul mirrors
    I wonder how long
    I'm in for bad luck"

    that's so awesome. I never would have thought of that ... dreams are soul mirrors, and yours shattered. Very cool.
    | Posted on 2006-06-06 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      I don't get it! it seems your thoughts are scattered and I couldn;t really figure out just what you are trying to say? Sorry but I'm confused.
    ~Alexander Blue
    | Posted on 2006-06-05 00:00:00 | by Alexander Blue | [ Reply to This ]
      i have to be honest this is a very odd write but i liked it...specially the lines...

    and since these home movies
    are soul mirrors

    what a thought...i'm loving it...only you could come up with such thoughts that work so well to describe something...

    and love the title as well...purps
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by purplesun24 | [ Reply to This ]
      I like 'quick bright beast' - it works very well. A fresh description of lightning instead of your usual run-of-the-mill ones.

    What makes you a great writer is your unusual but apt usage of words to describe something. Keep it up. And I like the idea of dreams being soul mirrors.
    | Posted on 2006-01-05 00:00:00 | by Maverique | [ Reply to This ]
      The title is a little odd :)
    but the poem isn't odd at all.
    Sometimes a poem has too many metaphors
    that don't work well together, but you have
    weaved yours together nicely. "I'm in for bad luck" It makes me smile how you've worked that into the piece. This one is a little like a bolt of lightning- kinda quick, but pretty explosive.
    Nicely
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by nicelyJ | [ Reply to This ]
      I really love this piece! The "bright beast" comparison to lightning is great. And sometimes it really does "shatter" your dreams - sometimes the good ones too! lol This isn't odd at all. I think it's really well thought out and very "cuddledumplin". ;) I also like the comparison of "soul mirrors" to dreams and "blockbusters" your mind has in store. :) Very bright intelligent piece of work. Great job sweetie. *HUGS*

    -blt
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by borderlinetears | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this was wrote well and I hope you keep up the good work? Thanks for the read.
    kelley
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by whendt | [ Reply to This ]
      odd is good...the title of this really drew me in, funny little play on words, I thought maybe the line "and since these home movies" might sound better if you dropped the "and", maybe that's just me...I liked the comparison of lightning to animal, very neato...liked it...

    Milo
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]
      This is great Amy, I can see the entire scenario unwind as images. It is right on the mark. And every line is true to the idea you've chosen to illustrate for us.

    I think I would change "dreams shatter" into something else, it doesn't bother me a bit, but might be looked over if you submitted this one.

    But this has a unique idea behind it, and that is what's so special about your work.

    Love and hugs,

    Nan
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by nansofast | [ Reply to This ]
      Amy this is odd but thats good because it brings a very intresting flavor to this site.

    A part of me see this as something in the mind that we all fear and all should embrace.
    Im not sure.

    The next blockbuster from the mind.

    ~shawn
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by armand | [ Reply to This ]
      I like the way you wrote this. It's definately different from the average piece. I like the line "I shake like I'm shocked."
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by miss__smiles | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a very origanel write
    I really liked it
    It captured my mind
    I believe you were writing about many themes all surronding around your life
    I liked it
    Good Write!
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


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