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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: to a poetdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: ertha
    Elite Ratio:    4.35 - 124/135/24
    Words: 115
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 917
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 708



    Description:
       I had forgotten the name of this form...but now ( with thanks to Graeme ) i can tell you it is a quatraine


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsto a poetdots
    -------------------------------------------


    you write a world with silent words
    that flow like tears out of your pen
    and pool in shadows at your feet
    to nourish plans that spring to life

    you touch you feel you see you hear
    you write a world with silent words
    and shadows speak in limpid tone
    your plans become like living dreams

    an architect who builds with stars
    an alchemist with form and rhyme
    you write a world with silent words
    transforming lead to glowing gold

    you beat the gold into a crown
    survey the country you have made
    you plant a garden with your thoughts
    you write a world with silent words





    Submitted on 2005-11-28 17:14:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Nice Quaterne MAggie. Here are my thoughts on the piece. First, I also thought plans might be a typo for plants. Especially when you started talking about gardens. But you also talk about architects and such which makes plans an apt word as well. PErhaps a way to re-see this piece is to use just one extended metaphor? Just a suggestion. with the alchemical images and the Aritecture images and the garden images... it feels like you didn't have enough of one idea to make a full poem. At the same time... maybe the quaterne itself reconciles that by having the weaving aspect. I don't know.
    | Posted on 2006-01-07 00:00:00 | by DavidHirt | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a form well suited to the material you've chosen to weave into gold, very rarely do poets write about poetry in such a way that both the joy and the mystery of the written word rise like the ressurection of a new language. You've mastered the subtleties necessary to repeat a line with differing inflections and shades of meaning so as to recreate it in every stanza. Excellent work. Bill.
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice, it has a very clean rhythm and bounce of sorts that is courtly and fitting to the king of verse metaphor; it is something of a horse galop like pace, a stetely horse mind you. So ya, you picked an excellent refrain as well and the imagery is clear althrough. I also like the evolution of the imagery from the author to alchmest to gold smith to king - very nice.
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by Car va g o | [ Reply to This ]
      No one understands poetry, except another poet...A poet expresses all kinds of feelings in their poems. The least little thing can spark their interest and they can put it into words..A poet can create pictures with words.
    A poem very well written!
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by AlabamaFarmGirl | [ Reply to This ]
      I thought the line to nourish plans wasn't a typo at all, its a lovely poem and gives a lot a feel to it ,a nice tribute to us poets really liked the line an architect who builds with stars is a lovely line keep tapping and coming up with those gems adnil
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by adnil | [ Reply to This ]
      Neat, once again. I may be wrong, but is it a "quatraine?" Whatever, you followed the riles, and my only stumble was the "plans" line, just wondered if it was a typo for plants...anyhow, "thoughts" would also work.

    Very nicely don, a neat little anthem to a poet's craft, I really liked it a lot, and well done

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]
      I must agree with Ronswords, This is a great write, and it describes poetry very well, i love how you say "you write a world with silent words" through out your poem, and end with it, its very moving, anyway i like it, it paints a brilliant picture in my head, thanks for submitting it.
    Sam;)
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Liminality | [ Reply to This ]
      I really like this
    To me yoare speaking of how poetry creates its own image inside of our heads
    That is one of the biggest reasons I enjoy poetry so much
    Very well worded
    Great Write!
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      nice little bit o'poetry here...I thought it was neat the way you rotated the line "you write a word with silent words", at first it threw me a little, but then I figured out what you had done...nicely done..the one line I wasn't quite sure of was "to nourish plans than spring to life", is this a typo?...anyway, liked it...

    Milo
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Milo shanley | [ Reply to This ]


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