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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Candle Lightdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CaramelCandy
    ASL Info:    37 Female NYC
    Elite Ratio:    6.07 - 118/144/57
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 942
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1064



    Description:
       Author's Comments: 'Upon a conversation of marriage and love; I whipped up a poem.... Will it always be like a candle light burning; yearning at times and cooling the next?'


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsCandle Lightdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Candle light lose your waxy composure
    Guide me thru halls of betroth plight
    Alabaster hands bewitch me
    Betwixt the soul and heart
    ~~~~ *^* ~~~~
    Your flame burns in the core of love
    Yes, let it be revealed
    The strips of waxlike residue
    Dripping,
    Slowly,
    Burning,
    Overflowing on
    Silver gold plates
    ~~~~ *^* ~~~~
    Candle light wasting away
    As night clouds
    drifting into moonlights' gleam
    Translucently clearing dark pathways
    ~~~~ *^* ~~~~
    Your fire yearns to last eternally
    Yes, let the crackling linger
    The strips of waxlike residue
    Setting,
    Shaping,
    Cooling
    Eternally on
    Silver gold plates

    ~*^*~
    Unlit candle so bear
    Awaits delicate hands to declare
    Warmth and Light
    Melted away on
    Silver
    Gold
    Plates
    ~*^*~


    Saby J. Rodriguez, 11/10/04




    Submitted on 2005-11-28 18:05:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is so touching and lovely written.
    I liked it and will read it some more. What else can I say? Keep it up. You Latin maybe? Just asking. Luv jm
    | Posted on 2010-03-10 00:00:00 | by Joachim | [ Reply to This ]
      Candle light wasting away
    As night clouds
    drifting into moonlights' gleam
    Translucently clearing dark pathways

    I especially liked this stanza because it paints an image in my mind. The candle was burning through the whole poem then finally goes out. It reminded me of a night you don't want to end. It made me feel like I was trying to hold on to something that would inevitably die. Good write!
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by evey36 | [ Reply to This ]
      Will it always be like a candle light burning; yearning at times and cooling the next?'

    I think the only thing that makes love or marriage anything like a candle is that it doesn't burn forever, sometimes the wick withers down to embers, but it's scent is still strong and soon enough the wick will be lit again and burn on.

    Interesting write you had.

    Cheers
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by UnspokenDreamer | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm, this is different. A marriage likened to a candle flame is a good metaphor.

    The candle could be a marriage that flickers from time to time and at certain times burns brighter when something enriches the marriage.
    The hard times in a marriage could be the dimming of the candle. The wax that run and drips on to the silver gold plates is the foundation of the marriage. The longer the candle burns the more the wax hardens and settles at the base. Just like a marriage, the longer the marriage last the stronger the relationship grows.

    The last stanza represents those candle or relationships that have been extinguished.

    Very good job here Saby.

    Most people reading this might have a hard time understanding it but then the description should help.
    I do like the structure that you have created here and it does make it original.

    I personally like it allot.

    Respect and Great Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Nice! I really like how you're encouraging the inevitable. It seems like you're sort of saying, "the end will come, so fill every moment with as much light and life as you can." The end comes unchallenged. Unwanted, but accepted. The structure is a bit weird, but you don't have to change it.

    Kym
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by kyml | [ Reply to This ]
      Each seprate part is a masterpeice in and of itself, though everything put together is sort of jarring. I really like the mentioning of the wax, the residue, though to tell you the truth I would have expanded such an . . . unused part of the candle metaphor a bit more. I have to say, this is a creative example of how no matter how my love related poems are written, there is still always more to say.

    Sorry if there's a lot of type-os that I may have missed, I'm having keyboard problems :)
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Starless Knight | [ Reply to This ]


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