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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: We Exchanged Eyesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: vanhokinshtyl
    ASL Info:    8/M/UK
    Elite Ratio:    3.09 - 119/200/71
    Words: 263
    Class/Type: Lyrics/Being a Teen
    Total Views: 979
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1868



    Description:
       The first stanza really sums up the whole song. Have you ever been somewhere with a lot of people and look over at someone, and you find them looking at you, and at that moment that you make eye contact they look away (or kinda smile then they look at the first possible object, other than a human), well that's what this song is about. But I added how I get so easily mesmerized that I want the verbal meeting to be so perfect, that I fear that I will ruin everything as in the chorus "this is my introduction to disaster" this is a very creative piece, because I've never read a poem/song about this topic...so tell me what you think about it.


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    dotsWe Exchanged Eyesdots
    -------------------------------------------


    I look over
    and I find you looking back
    at the glance of each others' eyes
    we look away,
    and with a smile
    you pretend you saw nothing at all

    I never
    thought that observations
    could mean so much
    but they do
    to me
    mentally
    you feel
    the same way
    as me...
    I think?
    Don't you
    feel the same way
    as I do?
    I asked my question
    so give me an answer

    and from all the way
    across the room
    I saw the face
    I've only seen
    in my dreams
    where we meet
    and make a connection
    and where I have courage
    and self confidence

    and for that split second
    a relationship was born
    a bond that was instantly broken
    and this has happened before
    maybe I just scare myself away from you
    I think you're trying to make sure
    I don't think we're more than we (really) are

    This is my introduction
    to disaster,
    prelude to another
    heart broken me,
    I know how this story ends
    before it even begins
    a "Goodbye" before a "Hello"
    and another lonely me

    We exchanged eyes

    I look over
    and I find you looking back
    at the glance of each other's eyes
    we look away
    it was a quick break of concentration
    'cause now you pretend that nothing's there
    and that I don't exist anymore

    This is my introduction
    to disaster,
    prelude to another
    heart broken me,
    I know how this story ends,
    before it even begins,
    a "Goodbye" before a "Hello"
    and another lonely me




    Submitted on 2005-11-28 19:59:31     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Absolutly, positively under my fave's. Eyes speak. Don't get me wrong, I love to talk, but you can read people through their eyes.
    I love when you have a moment like this... a moment of absolute electricity... I'm a sucker for moments like this... my friends make fun of me... When it happens, and because you've written this song, I know its happened to you, you fall in and out of love in a split second, or lust, or something of the sort. I always joke around about how that moment is like finding your soulmate... but like I said... my friends think I'm an absolute moron.
    Its good to know someone agrees.
    But really, girls who know how to "work it" if you will use this technique to lure the boys in. I'm sure boys use it too, but girls master it, and then use it to their advantage... so be careful to not get too suckered in!
    -Ann.
    | Posted on 2006-07-02 00:00:00 | by andrya | [ Reply to This ]
      I just read the title and I started to giggle...I was thinking along the lines of exchanging phone numbers...only exchanging eyes. I guess it would bring a whole new meaning to seeing the world through someone else's eyes. hehehehe
    But seriously - Can you imagine it? You see a hott chic and you go up and swap eyeballs...how peculiar...

    Onto the song:
    "This is my introduction
    to disaster,
    prelude to another
    heart broken me,
    I know how this story ends
    before it even begins
    a "Goodbye" before a "Hello"
    and another lonely me"

    I really liked that...it was heartbreaking, but in a good way - ya know? Like your favourite movie that still makes you cry...
    Keep Writing
    -Caribou-
    | Posted on 2005-12-31 00:00:00 | by painofthanatos | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this allot for the simple fact that this could be written for 75 percent of my relationships when i was a teen.

    Very Very good write. I do hope you can put some music to it.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      Aww, I think this is really sweet, but awesome at the same time. This song was deffinately true and I can picture it as a very punky song, lol. Good job!
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by Toxic_Rayne | [ Reply to This ]
      These are good lyrics. I like the story you have told with your words and I know this situation and feeling first hand. It is a kind of awkward feeling and I am not sure why they look away...shyness perhaps? I like your take on this and how you say "a goodbye before a hello". I think that sums up this moment pretty well indeed. That really is what it seems like isnt it?! This one has lots of feelings here and especially a sense of disappointment. I dont see anything here I would suggest you change. I think this is very well written and expressed and speaks of something we all can relate to. Very nicely written. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmm... reminds me of how i met my last boyfriend. I stared at him for so long that he eventually decided to just give in and talk to me lol. Yeah... I hate him now. So anyway, this is so sad. The "Goodbye" before a "Hello" thing started to get to me. So hopeless and lonely. It kind of gave me an empty feeling (in a good way, of course). I don't know. I like it. The whole thing is really good. Very nicely done Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      Its very sad and it seems hopeless. I like the way its written and some of the wording choices are superb (sp?) I especially like the very last stanza. It seems to somehow fit the best, even though the others all fit remarkably well. I agree with you, the first stanza does seem to sum up the whole lot and I guess that is best in a way. Although I don't think things are really as hopeless as you may feel they are.
    | Posted on 2005-11-28 00:00:00 | by Cat | [ Reply to This ]


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