We Let Go -------------------------------------------
Hearts whisper in their last breath.
Let us split in peace.
Make my love and life out of love.
Seeing as we can all see now.
Side with me in searching over the void.
My iris dreams of a vision gleaming.
Help push the tide in our bay.
No longer the heart's sorrow delay.
Make it known that our peace has left.
Sound the song that breathes the hymn.
Learn the virtue from the sun.
Even stars see through us, asleep.
May we help bring down our own tragedy?
Best keep our children close.
Sigh our love song one last time.
May it give us peace of mind,
at last, at last,
let it be.
You always have great word choice, and this piece is a very good example of that, conveying the feelings the author must have felt or be feeling very strongly to the reader, the poem is a bit depressing, but I loved the line
'May we help bring down our own tragedy'
it is a theory of mine that out of great tragedy, and great pain in life come the greatest writers, artists, the people that feel things the most strongly, see things differently. I believe you are part of that. Its a good thing, a compliment though. Great job, keep it up ^_^
impressive language, really shows how good word choice can make a good idea into a good poem... I agree with Han, in that i cannot tie it into your description, but hey, its your poem, you know how it ties in... awsome poem in every way... PEACE and LOVE, greg
I really like that. The language is well used and so very very expressive. I find it confusing when I link it with your description though. (Just me?) but I would describe this as a transitional period through a womans life:
'May we help bring down our own tragedy? Best keep our children close. Sigh our love song one last time'
Its your poem though and it is amazing. Dreams are meant to be an expression of your subconcious thought. I wonder what your dream represents?
Anyway, good work :o) Look forward to seeing more. Han