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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: A Cutter's Salvationdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jussy
    ASL Info:    21 ...guy....waterworld
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 66/64/21
    Words: 65
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 812
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 413



    Description:
       This is about a loved one.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA Cutter's Salvationdots
    -------------------------------------------


    When the sky bleeds, I can feel it on my face.
    Her hate pours down in a shower of disgrace.
    So make your intensions and aggravations clear,
    no need for coffee or a toast sincere.
    Through bloodshot eyes, she sees the world.
    Burried inside, her heart, she curdled.
    She saved her life through cutting her veins.
    Eyes shut for eternity, she'll feel no more pains.




    Submitted on 2005-11-29 15:38:27     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      Well, since your description says this is for a loved one, I take it someone died of cutting or so.. I must say that this touched me real deeply. A lot of your rhyming didNT seem pushed. But like one phrase kind of was. That was the only fault.

    I like how you ended it also.. Very powerful, and it closed the peice.

    Kimberley
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Blindly-N-Love | [ Reply to This ]
      Very powerful and pain-stricken poem. Descriptive of your feelings and has a definite beat/rythmn to it. Although I disagree with the idea of cutting and hurting one's self, this piece is very well done and extremely emotional.
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by SnakeBite7 | [ Reply to This ]
      This a very personal deep write
    Im sorry for your pain
    But there has to be something much more positive to do then injuring yourself
    Look at all the Beauty around you and grasp at it never let it out of your sight
    that beauty will help you with this addiction
    also
    Look to your Heart
    I can see from this write that it is very strong and carries a lot of healing power
    You are to strong and Loving of a Person to let this addiction control you
    Stay Positive
    Ill Pray for you
    God Bless
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Brutal. Very powerful. Cutting, a subject that saddens me not only because it is sad that so many people can find nothing else to subdue their pain but because I was once in that situation. It is a horrible addiction and always a horrible thing to read about. It's so blunt and chilling. This deffinately describs It well.

    "When the sky bleeds, I can feel it on my face."
    That is my fave part I think. It gives it... something I can't quite put my finger on it. All I know is that I liked this poem verry much. Great job!

    - -Oli
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by Oli | [ Reply to This ]
      very discriptive.. and heart wrentching.. sad too...

    I have heard that the pain inflicted by cutting is for control and to feel pain so at least something is felt.. but that is just what I have heard.. I though it was very nice put..

    Penny
    | Posted on 2005-11-29 00:00:00 | by pennymarie | [ Reply to This ]
      When the sky bleeds, I can feel it on my face.
    Her hate pours down in a shower of disgrace

    I love this first line here...I have one kind of like it...it's about the rain, and that's what I'm infering that the above line is talking about also, am I correct?

    Anyways, I love this, I don't really know how to explain what I'm trying to say for it. I just really loved it, and I hope you never stop writing.

    Keep em comin

    Codee
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by vanhokinshtyl | [ Reply to This ]


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    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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