Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Dead and gone (never again)dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: lucianraven
    ASL Info:    21/M/Spfld Il
    Elite Ratio:    3.46 - 49/67/19
    Words: 73
    Class/Type: Rant/Venting
    Total Views: 840
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 573



    Description:
       If you read the description for "blood and tears" you'll get it.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsDead and gone (never again)dots
    -------------------------------------------


    Anger ,
    blood and tears,
    form a rock
    A glowing coal of hate
    Within my very soul
    Fists clenched with rage
    Pale blue frightened eyes
    Screams, unheard
    Mercy, ungiven
    Cold, calcuated action
    Bruises
    Pain
    Scars unseen
    Wounds unhealed
    Fear undefeatable
    A sweet, brave young girl
    never again
    who i once knew
    dead and gone
    replaced by shame
    by fear
    by guilt
    who i once knew
    dead and gone

    Dedicated to Zuri




    Submitted on 2005-11-29 19:08:49     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      you write some many poems that are full of depth and pain, i hope your future brightens, i thought the way you layed oyt this piece, suited it very well, as you couldn't really put the words into stanza's, the words you used replyed over and over in my mind especially these lines... screams, unherd. mercy, ungiven. wonderful lines.
    ++My Pain++
    | Posted on 2005-12-12 00:00:00 | by my pain | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an incredible write from a young mine
    I dont know if it was the feeling you were going for but to me
    this write
    Was about someone who was looking at the male and female traits they have inside

    This write was very thought provoking
    Great Job!
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      This is an incredible write from a young mine
    I dont know if it was the feeling you were going for but to me
    this write
    Was about someone who was looking at the male and female traits they have inside

    This write was very thought provoking
    Great Job!
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-11-30 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    82801

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    A Worsening Effect written by Daniel Barlow
    The Human Harmonic written by Daniel Barlow
    Florida's Autumn Solstice written by closetpoet
    Lost Inside the Race written by ForgottenGraves
    Deep written by Janesaddiction
    None the Wiser written by endlessgame23
    // Seasonal Song written by ShadowParadox
    In a Corner written by jeniecel
    Day 5 written by TheStillSilence
    Across the bed written by expiring_touch
    Dream written by closetpoet
    Twin Intercept written by Daniel Barlow
    Adoration written by TheStillSilence
    Live In Between written by teika5
    Hyle written by endlessgame23
    Sword in the Water written by Wolfwatching
    Beauty Rest written by jackz
    Ciggarettes written by Poetic_tragedy6
    Verse: written by Daniel Barlow
    The World written by jjd
    To the Artist written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Keep written by TheStillSilence
    Starseed written by endlessgame23
    Johnny's Cock written by endlessgame23
    Night- time written by Daniel Barlow
    The Curtain Call written by faideddarkness
    A Sense Of Things written by Daniel Barlow
    A Thousand Reflections written by endlessgame23
    going,,,"Skin." written by teika5
    Supernatural Cowboy Sleuth written by endlessgame23

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry