[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: The Noise After the Lastdots

    Author: josymanthegreat
    ASL Info:    21/m/GA from Puerto Rico
    Elite Ratio:    4.73 - 337/364/104
    Words: 286
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 650
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1765

       This is... How do I put this?... The rebirth of "The Noise" series... You have to read "The Noise" part 1-3 and then "The Last Noise"... Very very Dark indeed as I felt like I needed to keep the series going just a while longer...

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsThe Noise After the Lastdots

    A year has passed
    And I am still locked here
    The noise still calls to me
    Begging me to let the pain be felt

    That pain that was caused
    Neglected and to the side tossed
    Awakened again by the sound of that clock
    Which has just continued to feed on

    Planning on my promised vengeance
    My pain shall be felt by all
    Everyone will have to pay the toll
    But first to escape from this small room

    The cell door opens
    And so it began
    Took the first guard down
    From the holster took his gun

    Hid behind walls
    Crawled through the floors
    Looked around the corner
    Found two oblivious guards

    At this I laughed and closely watched
    To study them like the beasts they are
    And after I learned their patern
    Formulated how to get them one by one

    Made a sound which alarmed one of them
    The other one said check it out
    Through my head rapidly flew the thought
    Of blowing his brains out

    Quickly he turned the corner
    The noise taking over now
    Jumped on and put him in a choke hold
    While looking at him sweating cold

    Smirking while placing the gun in his mouth
    Then splatering his tonsils all over the ground
    The other guard then came
    Astonished at what he saw

    Dead partner on the floor
    And nobody in sight
    While from behind I came up
    And like his partner made him see the light

    Ran out of that awful place
    Still the same smirk on my face
    The world was now my playground
    New victims the noise of my pain said

    Submitted on 2005-11-30 18:11:58     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      Geez! Haha! This is so morbid and gruesome. I read all of your noise series poems and this one takes place after you had gone to jail for killing your neighbor right? Well, this noise is really something to motivate you to murder. I say "you" but I dont mean you persay...just as you have written this from your own perspective but I dont think this stuff actually happened...right?Anyway, a most interesting and icky kinda poem you have here. Kinda spooky is the mind of a crazy person and I think you have done a good job of identifying the motivation behind why they do what they do. Take care.

    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]