Description: This is my happy ((grin)). May not be the best as far as diction and imagery, but it is from the heart, and to me, that is all that matters. Love, despite any problems that may arise in the relationship, if it is true, cannot die if both hearts, both souls are committed to its truth...
You and I -------------------------------------------
You kissed me
So soft that it made me want to cry.
You held me
Your warm embrace I just couldn't deny.
You promised me
You would never let go of something so good.
You loved me
In a way I never thought anyone could.
I gave you
My heart with a promise of forever.
I told you
No matter what, we would always be together.
I trusted you
To protect my soul's fragility.
I loved you
To the absolute best of my ability.
You and I
Share a bond no one could ever replace.
You and I
Have a passion that time could never erase.
This poem's setup was a little strange, but I still got the message. It made me feel as if you truly love someone, and they love you also. I pretty much like this poem, but i would suggest changing the bold part and setting it up in a regular way. Also please comment on my works please.
this is a beautiful write. you really should love and compassion. the only thing that i could find wrong was that it was a little to short. i found myself wanting to hear more about this relationship. but it was very original and i liked it. -brandon
this was well done- I really liked the form. I also enjoyed the feeling that you poured into it. The passion was so evident. Love is a beautiful thing, even if you you do fight, when you make up it makes it all the more beautiful.
It made me smile to read this, knowing that you felt it. It is nice to see love bloom.
Your rhyme was very well done, not too evident. Just enough to make it flow. Keep up the wonderful work, I could see you put your heart into this. take care ~jennifer
I really liked this. it shows alot of emotion, and its all love. i love it. it speaks to me and gives me feelings that i didn't think i was capable of feeling ever again. its like you were just sharing your emotions with me and the word flow just impressed me. but i think that you could have chosen a few more descriptive words other than love. you could use words like "compassion, trust, passion". ya know, the real good stuff that really makes people feel good. good job.
I enjoyed this piece. It was real. straight forward. Loved the way it was structured which gave it more of an impact, I think anyother formate wouldn't have worked, nice job... loved how you phrased last the four lines = "you and I"