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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Mud Filled Worlddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: MyHeart2Yours
    ASL Info:    18.female.Pennsylavnia
    Elite Ratio:    3.27 - 96/112/42
    Words: 238
    Class/Type: Misc/Misc
    Total Views: 175
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1394



    Description:
       This is the transformation of an old image to a new one


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMud Filled Worlddots
    -------------------------------------------


    Many a nights have I fallen into the dream of a reality,
    wisps of wind playing at the corner of my mind,
    Tugging vivid images of the world cruel and cold.
    My mind is racing and the pain is unbearable,
    like a thousand knives digging at the very soul of my self-being.
    The God's above are laughing as they pull the strings,
    my legs move as the floor falls out below me,
    Crying out for someone to catch me I frantically claw at the walls,
    somehow there must be a way out.
    The moon high in the sky I shout at the stars,
    questioning why this was done, why has the world been ripped away?
    Question marks or marks of questions,
    a haze of unanswered statements blurring my vision as I run.
    A field awaits me,
    grasses swaying as the wind rips through the fields and the rain pours down,
    soaking wet I drag myself out of a mud filled hole,
    my bones brittle with the age of life,
    muscles torn with the weight of worries,
    my skin burned by the words of others as they sting,
    I scratch at my body, flesh dripping from white bones,
    blood spilling out of the morsels of who I am,
    and the realization of life's difficulties clear in my mind,
    as the old slips away and the new protrudes into the making of a masterpiece not yet finished.




    Submitted on 2005-12-01 01:59:02     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      try running your poems through spell-check before you submit them for the spelling/grammar freaks like me. haha. i loved the imagery in this piece. it's really well done. i don't really have much to say, i liked it, but the spelling errors really took a lot away from it for me. but that's just me and my neuroses :D


    <333
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by jeffiner | [ Reply to This ]
      The is quite an interesting piece of poetry. There is alot of emotion pouring out of the words on the page, intensity, fear, confusion, some anger, etc. I did find a couple of things that need to be fixed but as a free form poem this is quite nice. If you have ever thought of posting your pieces on other poetry websites for feedback try www.writing.com.
    perturdes-what is this word please?, whisps-take out the h, nights-doesn't need an s, morsals-change the a to e, self-being.-I'd lose the self it's redundant.
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by auntwheezie | [ Reply to This ]
      wow... that's deep.
    I think this was sooo good. It's like you capture soo many things and so many images and just made into one paragraph. And you captured confusion so well... Im think you did a great job with this peice!

    Drea
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Drea | [ Reply to This ]



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