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I wish I could make a poem
that sparkled like colored glass,
Words gleaming in cobalt, amber, ruby and emerald,
each word iridescent and replete with meaningless beauty,
and when people read my creation,
their replies would be equally meaningless ooh's and ah's.
It would blaze across their retinas,
imbed itself as shards into their minds
and color their days with pointless splendor.
| this is what i saw...a girl standing in the darkness and colors flying away from her filling up the emptiness and bringing light and freedom and joy to everyone and then in my own weird mind i see her snatch it all away like no you're not ready for my wonder||| Posted on 2013-08-01 00:00:00 | by Rhaine | [ Reply to This ] || i love "meaningless beauty"|
and "pointless splendor"
the entire poem is paradox...and works so well...
it's like okay, they criticize everything i write...so i will write something worth criticizing...
hell, they'll probably love it.
|| Posted on 2011-09-14 00:00:00 | by jacoberin | [ Reply to This ] || Oh Amy I agree with you---I have read poems like that--it's like looking at abstract art art in a gallery---you just get wrapped in layers of feelings that come from the colors, the textures and shapes--even though you haven't a clue why the damn thing is entitled " Resonance with Rice Krispies"--but ever after Life hears "Snap, Crackle and Pop" diferently. |
I like this a lot--but you failed in your wish to produce something of "meaningless beauty"
In these lines ---
"And it'd blaze across their retinas
And imbed itself as shards into their minds
And color their days with pointless splendor"
I didnt like all the ands--or at least all the capitalized Ands--particulary the first "And" followed by "it'd"--to me it spoiled the dreamy flow of the previous lines
" It would blaze across their retinas,
imbed itself as shards into their minds
and color their days with pointless splendor"
to me works better (I have to say SOMETHING critical once in a while) Love it, Silver
|| Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by Silverdog | [ Reply to This ] || i agree with silver on the "ands." someone once told me to rid myself of the ands in my poems. when i did, something magic happened. they aren't always unnecessary, but for the post part they are extraneous. but i love your imagery in this poem. is there such a thing as meaningless beauty? i think beauty is meaningful in and of itself, no matter where it comes from. great write!!||| Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by magnicat | [ Reply to This ] || Its beautiful m'lady, wonderfully written, and the flow is good. Silverdog said the only thing i would have even thought to mention, for some odd and strange reason, as i read i saw al teh colours in vivid oils...I am inspired to paint something. Excellent. ~Sicobe R. Crow||| Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by Crow | [ Reply to This ] || meaningless beauty .... pointless splendor.|
Kind of like fireworks that serve no purpose other then to make the crowd ooh and ah.
You have an enjoyable way of using color a lot in your poetry and I really enjoy that. Do you also paint? If not, then you should.
|| Posted on 2004-04-26 00:00:00 | by angela~ | [ Reply to This ] || Wow. The last line was truly amazing especially "pointless splendour"… It says so much too me. Sometimes, when I think to myself the pointlessness of all I do; something inside me says that there is a point to the pointlessness. This is one of those poems "that paints a thousand pictures" in my head. |
There's just one line that I'm tripping over a little
"Imbed itself as shards into their minds"
It's a little rough reading… How about "Imbed itself as shards in their mind"?
|| Posted on 2004-04-27 00:00:00 | by Judy | [ Reply to This ] || Pointless beauty..still beauty all the same which brings a sense of wonder to otherwise dull lives. Looks like you've already edited this one.|
|| Posted on 2004-04-27 00:00:00 | by jaycee | [ Reply to This ] || You see what I see is casting pearls and nether shadows and you get to work the paint machine coloured glass regime and it's a power thing.|
Your wish is to be Willy Wonka or a test driver for Tonka.
Or a pusher of the colour drug.
And don't wish too much for others 'til your own first wish is granted.
It's a survival thing...
|| Posted on 2004-04-30 00:00:00 | by Awkward | [ Reply to This ] |