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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: She Wishes...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: DisilusndDreamr
    ASL Info:    21/F/Az
    Elite Ratio:    4.09 - 105/85/24
    Words: 169
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1177
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 1159



    Description:
       


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShe Wishes...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    unbroken still
    though she wishes sometimes
    that she could stop
    being so damn strong

    I want a moment of weakness,
    she whispered to the night air
    I want to shed tears
    I want my tower of strength to crumble.

    I want to break down
    to cry until I run out of breath
    until they know Im hurting,
    then will I be refreshed?

    why can't I be fragile?
    make you be afraid to touch me,
    afraid that I will break
    at the softest whisper

    a porcelean doll
    with small painted lips
    and glazed eyes that hold
    no secrets.

    I want to tell you everything
    and let you know what Im feeling
    at the moment I feel it
    without seeming like a burden

    would my emotions burden you?

    I'll never know
    because I'll never tell,
    just bottle everything up
    like I always do...

    (unbroken still
    though she wishes sometimes
    that she could stop
    being so damn strong)








    Submitted on 2005-12-01 15:15:56     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I completely feel this and love what you've written here. I love the whole idea (because I relate), and where you tie in the description of the doll - so fragile - in contrast to how other people see you as strong.
    It takes a lot of trust to learn to let down the walls, huh? I feel you.
    Good job
    Jessica
    (parabola)
    | Posted on 2006-06-02 00:00:00 | by parabola | [ Reply to This ]
      I freaking love this!!!!!!!!! I know exactly how you feel...this is a really great write...will someone tell me how to add this to my favorites....never mind...I'll figure it out.
    This is great
    | Posted on 2006-05-19 00:00:00 | by Pursuitoflife | [ Reply to This ]
      What is with today, and every single poem reminding me of me and my friends fight?! I'm getting so frustrated tears are comeing- NO POURING out of my eyes! But this was good really does say alot about so many people. This gave me another thing to think about. Still I find it strange that every thing I read and comment on just keeps reminding me and putting me into a worse shape. I'm not blaming your for anything! I love your work, and every thing. Loved your poem, and loved the imagery, and the way you used inanimate objects to explain things. Love when people do that.

    Ja Matte!
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by akaietowa-ru_18 | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm to me it seems people think you are too mentally strong and phyiscally strong and you don't want to have it anymore. You want to be fragile and delicate so if anyone were to touch you, you would break down and be hurt. I'm so sure as if I understand that but oh well. That was just what I got from this anyways.

    I didn't see anything wrong with this structure wise or anything. The flow was good and I followed this easily. Good job. .

    Brenna
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Day DreaMeR | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a moving write
    It really made me think
    I believe you are letting out your emotions and tears thru your writes
    You are reaching out for someone to understand your feelings
    I do understand what you are saying
    and Know
    We are always learning in life
    As we learn we are questioning the knowledge we are given
    That is what I think you are going thru
    Remain Positive
    Your writes are very emotional and I always like reading them
    Take Care
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Freakin' right. Sounds like something I'd write, although it's your own. And, that's what makes it special. I enjoyed reading this because I can relate to it. You just want to stand up on a chair in the middle of a crowded room with your friends and scream, "YOU KNOW WHAT I'M NOT AS HAPPY AS I'M ACTING! I'M SOBBING ON THE INSIDE! I'M GOING TO FALL APART NOW!"

    At least that's what I want to do. . .

    BCute
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by BCute | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

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    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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