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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Me and the Moondots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Jussy
    ASL Info:    21 ...guy....waterworld
    Elite Ratio:    4.47 - 66/64/21
    Words: 118
    Class/Type: Poetry/Serious
    Total Views: 1074
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 712



    Description:
       this was about me finally being able to forgive and let go of my faults. Forgiven by the dark.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsMe and the Moondots
    -------------------------------------------


    The moon and I danced, for I was
    bed-ridden of pain.
    And I observed the revulsion of our lives,
    as the faucet of my heart drip drops in vain.
    My adoration disquieted my own desultory heart.
    My ratiocination for leaving,
    was not all that vacant,
    as I pushed the buggy with sanity in cart.
    So now, as I lay open my faults and flaws,
    the moon,
    she says to me,
    love is not lost cause.
    And I dance to and fro with her,
    her light the expounder,
    with a love that never perished in the night. She taught me solution through anguish,
    unfathomless through the shallow.
    O moon, fasten me to your dark light.




    Submitted on 2005-12-01 15:21:07     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      This is nicely done, but I wish you'd call it "The Moon and Me" to be more correct. I think I'd say "love is not a lost cause" too. I also think I'd add a break to "with a love that never perished in the night. She taught me solution through anguish, " after the period. The moon is a source of a lot of great imagery. Nicely done, Amy
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by cuddledumplin | [ Reply to This ]
      "She taught me solution through anguish,
    unfathomless through the shallow.
    O moon, fasten me to your dark light."

    You just keep getting more awesome. I Love this. Very creative. I was kind of reminded of the song Dark Light, but thats only because of those 2 words lol Good song though. Anywho, this is definitely the best I've read in a while. Great job

    -nikkki
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Liv2LoveThePain | [ Reply to This ]
      You should really read my write "God Of Night." Not really about god, but the moon, it's short, but sweet, and I love it. It was actually the only one of my poems published so at least it's a bit good.

    There's one thing though, I have to thank you so much. I know it might be with some kind of girlfriend or something, but this sound like it should be me letting my friend apologize, and just be talking to her again. You gave me a bit to think, thanks! Faving this one as a reminder.

    Thanks again!

    Ja matte!
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by akaietowa-ru_18 | [ Reply to This ]
      mmm, I love the moon.
    Anyways, this is a very good piece. It really makes you think, instead of just setting it all out for us in black and white. I wish I was at the point where I could forgive myself and move past my faults. You described it well though. I can't wait. :)
    thanks for sharing, write on
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by DisilusndDreamr | [ Reply to This ]
      'her light the expounder' is the most wonderful line!i love the bluntness of it.
    Vain not veign!I didn't understand thecriticism i received when i first wrote on here, but it all helps in the end.
    This is a very mature and beautiful piece and the connection with the moon is an excellent portrayal of your feelings, who hasn't wished upon the moon?!
    Lastly 'darklight' is a suitably bittersweet ending.
    I have no idea what the words desultory and ratiocination mean...could you enlighten me?
    willow
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by weepingwillow | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this
    An ode to the Moon
    The moon is very powerful in my life
    For I believe the moon and Stars are Gods way of letting us know we are never truefully in the Dark
    I would like to answer the questions you asked me
    First off Every day brings new challenges and new negativitys so I picked Wednesday as the day I deal with them and wipe them away
    so that I may move forward and that is why Thursday is so important to me
    As for the next week being the first week of the rest of my life
    That is my way of always moving forward so that I may never have time to look back at the negativity in my life
    I hope that answers your questions
    God Bless
    Your Friend
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      this is beautifully written. the forgivness of imperfection through the moon light is and excellent image. thank you for sharing this with me. i hope to see more of your work in the future.

    Misty
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by misty_of_moon | [ Reply to This ]


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