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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Liquid firedots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Vastmark
    ASL Info:    29/M/U.K
    Elite Ratio:    6.02 - 225/171/26
    Words: 12
    Class/Type: Haiku/Misc
    Total Views: 1275
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 102



    Description:
       Scotch, single malt, aged 12 years...............Yummy!!!!

    Second attempt any thoughts or advice please.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsLiquid firedots
    -------------------------------------------


    Cool crystal touches

    smell permeates the being

    fire descends, cleansing.




    Submitted on 2005-12-01 16:34:40     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      Very elemental, perfect discription in concise terms. Now I desire - that.

    Break out the crystal, maybe even for a snort of Drambuie if it's handy.

    Purely for good health, you understand.
    | Posted on 2007-01-05 00:00:00 | by Blue Monk | [ Reply to This ]
      I haven't read a decent Haiku in ages, much less one I could relate to. Oh I like it a lot! Very vivid, very clear... I could feel the burn! NICE! I wouldn't change a thing. However, being a hick in good ole Tennessee I take 2 syllables to say fire... ha!
    | Posted on 2006-10-06 00:00:00 | by kiddo13 | [ Reply to This ]
      This was a very well written haiku. Your imagery flowed well to explain the Scotch you were refering to. I have no suggestions at this time. Keep up the good work.


    Catrina
    | Posted on 2006-09-11 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a wonderful hybrid hiaku. Human nature instead of nature you have written this in. You did something that makes haikus hard to write and that is choosing descriptive strong 5-7-5 syllables..Nice.
    `always write poetry, Cheryl.
    | Posted on 2006-02-16 00:00:00 | by ladyngold | [ Reply to This ]
      wow, that's cool! I have basically no idea wht it means, but it's really amzing in some simple way... It contradicts itself, I guess, but makes sense... hmmm... very haiku-y!


    sorry this comment is so short, think of it as a haiku comment! ha ha sorry
    P.S. Favorites addition!
    avril54
    | Posted on 2006-01-22 00:00:00 | by Avril54 | [ Reply to This ]
      I loved it keep writing... umm you can look @ some of mine if you want... Thanks. Are you going to tweak it if yiou r plz dn't


    ~ms.understood
    | Posted on 2006-01-12 00:00:00 | by Rehian | [ Reply to This ]
      I love the effectiveness and illustrative interpretations of minimalism in haikus...I too liked how you portrayed the nature and like a good 12 year scotch it flows perfectly and leaves a pleasant taste that lingers...
    Very well done and thank you sir, may I have another!
    Love,Peace,Joy~Feel,Experience,BE~~~
    tif
    | Posted on 2005-12-13 00:00:00 | by Epiphany | [ Reply to This ]
      This is a really good haiku! I like how you made the nature part of this the metaphor for the alcohol. Very clever. You capture the sensations of drinking hard liquor very well with your words. Your form is perfect and your word choices are also very good. I love the cleansing at the end. It certainly is isnt it haha! Woooo Hooooo! Smooooooooth! haha! Very good job on this one. Take care.

    Lorna
    | Posted on 2005-12-10 00:00:00 | by lmz | [ Reply to This ]
      i, being too young to drink, have of course NO idea what this poem means *cough, cough* that being said, i very much liked it, though typically i prefer straight drinks, not mmixed ones, and i prefer wine, to anything too "fiery" i get a great feeling for this poem, very powerful, thats what i love about haiku so short, but so powerful if done right, and this, was done right :)
    ~raven~
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by lucianraven | [ Reply to This ]
      I really liked this
    To me it reflects the relationship between Fire and Ice
    And how both are needed to let the Human Soul survive
    Very nicely Done
    This write made me think
    I love Haikus
    Take Care
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Hmmm...reminds me of that one bottle of liquor that has a flame on it and right now the name of it escapes me. Its a mixer kind of drink...not many people drink it straight. Its not Goldschlager...hmmm...maybe it will come to me. Ohhhh...FIRESTARTER...yeah, thats the drink. Anyway, I liked this little haiku ya got here. The cool smell of the fire that cleanses...nice invigorating stuff there maynard.
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by hyproglo | [ Reply to This ]
      Oo;;;

    THANK YOU GOD! ::::glompes you:::: THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!

    Sorry about that, it's just not many of these and I love them. Big fan of Japan if ya havn't noticed from my name, eh heh. Well good write, and I loved it. Stuck to that atmosphere of the japanese. Oh how I love them, and I love you now to!

    I'm feeling giddy today, so yes be afraid of my weird behaivior, I'm a very young teen, and very sick with fever right now, so I ain't acting like myself...

    Still love the write!

    Ja Matte!
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by akaietowa-ru_18 | [ Reply to This ]


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