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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: TragicThoughtsofaVengeantMinddots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Dandan
    ASL Info:    19/F/Florida
    Elite Ratio:    4.93 - 604/323/49
    Words: 384
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1026
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 2291



    Description:
       Tragic Thoughts of a Vengeant Mind


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsTragicThoughtsofaVengeantMinddots
    -------------------------------------------


    This is an ode
    To a love too quickly taken from me,
    An ode to a love
    That withered in the presence of fear
    And fled to the arms of another.

    This is a cry
    To that love which was snatched away
    And thrown into the winds of oblivion.

    Crawl away,
    You came standing up straight, but all you can do now is
    Crawl
    on your knees;
    Come forth on the lowest ground the earth has created.
    Oh, but you donít even deserve that:
    Slither away the way you came.

    This is a song
    To the beautiful rose that our love once was,
    To the thorns we so gracefully avoided
    Because-to us-they were
    Invisible.

    This is a broken girl
    With the tragic thoughts of a vengeant mind
    Who canít bear
    To loathe you
    Detest you
    Lead you
    To give you even the smallest inkling that this could ever be
    Again.

    Oh, but this is a plea,
    Please,
    Donít let my prayer
    Be lost in my bitterness.
    Decipher what I ask of you,
    Thatís all I ask of you.
    These are the tragic thoughts of a vengeant mind...
    Things will be better one day.

    Crawl away,
    You came standing up straight, but all you can do now is
    Crawl
    on your knees;
    Come forth on the lowest ground the earth has created.

    Come running back to me, my love
    And never leave my side.
    My thoughts lie hidden within these words,
    Lie sleeping between the lines.
    Can you find them?
    Can you find me?
    Crawl.

    You will know me only when you sink to my level.
    Only then can you feel the ground of my emotion,
    And sense a sentence as I do.

    I rip this poem out:
    A poem
    A prayer
    A plea
    A passive attempt at parting from you.

    Crawl...
    I will crawl away....
    And leave you standing after,
    For you are happy now
    And I fall at your feet
    With the tragic thoughts
    of a vengeant mind,
    wishing only to love you
    Once again.

    This is farewell.




    Submitted on 2005-12-01 21:47:19     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      I really don't like long poems, but i'll make an exception for this one. I get the feeling that you are a person who puts 100% into everything you do...because there is a lot of energy in this one.

    One of the few long poems that i haven't regretted reading, well done!

    you should be proud of this for sure
    | Posted on 2006-02-09 00:00:00 | by Senna27NZ | [ Reply to This ]
      I can see that you are still writing with the same vigourous fire you had before. Don't see much error in this actually I see more love for it then anything. i love your change of style. You seem to mix it up a bit at times. I believed your repetion was nicely planned. It was not overdone, and it kept the focus of the poem. Please continue to write great poems such as this.

    Nashataku
    | Posted on 2005-12-23 00:00:00 | by Nashataku | [ Reply to This ]
      I love it. What more can I say? It is very reminicent of Emily Bronte, for me. I sympathize with the rage, the sorrow, and the general broodiness. The verse structure has an appealing chaos abuos it (that is, the visual is oddly pleasing, aesthetically). The meter is great, and your word choice makes me confident that the schools are doing SOMETHING right. I'm not familiar with the word "vengeant", however.

    Great Stuff,

    Bridge
    | Posted on 2005-12-07 00:00:00 | by O_Mal_Caor | [ Reply to This ]
      i too thought the repetition worked... it helped keep to on theme without room for interuption... as for LOVE, i hate it, even more now that i am madly in love myself... it sucks, it destroys, yet there is nothing in the world better than love... great poem and perfectly worded... the emotional content was wonderful...
    PEACE and LOVE, greg
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by geherald | [ Reply to This ]
      Excellent write
    I love how you brought the person who said he loved you into your world and showed him the ill feelings his departure left behind
    Perfectly worded
    Great Job!
    Ron

    Please if you get a chance take a look at some of my writes and let me know what you think
    Thank You
    Ron
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      i truely like this even the repetition i thought was fitting love though makes me have a headache people tend to yell and for me living in a cave with the bats and rats would do me fine but it would have to be mold free keep working!
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by papalegba | [ Reply to This ]
      Bloody hell, this is full of sad rage.
    I liked it, although the repetition parts weren't necessary in my book, it's long enough, but wow, you sure put the emotions into it.

    Extremely well done, be proud of this one

    be happy

    Graeme
    | Posted on 2005-12-01 00:00:00 | by wewak11 | [ Reply to This ]


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    83042

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


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