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    dots Submission Name: Shattered Whispersdots

    Author: Red_reaper
    ASL Info:    14/f/inside a blueberry
    Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 143/76/20
    Words: 92
    Class/Type: Poetry/
    Total Views: 970
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 623

       Words slowy passed through my mind, and here it is written. I have vague ideas what it's about, but I feel like I've known it forever. Just another one of those things....

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsShattered Whispersdots

    Walk in a daze
    All noise a buzz
    Everything a haze
    Emptiness profound

    Lost memories bother
    Imaginary or not?
    Screams of a father
    A beloved face

    And they do persist
    And in the middle of my mind
    Is where I cease to exist
    Where forever is lost

    Just one more lost tomorrow
    And pain is regret
    Joy turned to sorrow
    Is where I finally forget

    Pull the blade down
    A smile is torn
    Thorns for a crown
    And I wonder

    Is the Queen of nothing, nothing?

    Submitted on 2005-12-02 15:34:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I've noticed that all the poetry that I've read of your's is in the same format. I question how much you can really grow as poet staying in this same style. Anyways, to this specific peice. I like the title, but the connection between it and the poem is very loose. However, I do think the poem is very interesting. My favorite line is " Just one more lost tomorrow". Good write overall.
    | Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Lady Ankou | [ Reply to This ]
      verry profound. actually quite interesting. I enjoyed it, the rythem and flow. The words you used were exquisite and verry entrancing. And the way you portrayed cutting as a torn smile was nicely done. It seems as if there is more than one message to be percieved from this poem and it could take a while to get them all out. Great work.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
      ok well its not about cutting
    but it in there is it not?
    "i pull the blade down
    a smile is torn"
    cut? no?
    peace out
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]
      very good
    i do recomend avoiding cutting
    a lot of people will "cut " you down if you use it
    never the less it was a great peom
    the imagry was exalent
    wording was astounding
    and i cant spell

    please comment on my work
    i love you forever and stuff
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]

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