Shattered Whispers

Author: Red_reaper ASL Info:    14/f/inside a blueberry Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 143 /76 /20 Words: 92

Class/Type: Poetry / Total Views: 1157 Average Vote:    No vote yet. Bytes: 623

Description:

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Shattered Whispers

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Walk in a daze All noise a buzz Everything a haze Emptiness profound Lost memories bother Imaginary or not? Screams of a father A beloved face And they do persist And in the middle of my mind Is where I cease to exist Where forever is lost Just one more lost tomorrow And pain is regret Joy turned to sorrow Is where I finally forget Pull the blade down A smile is torn Thorns for a crown And I wonder Is the Queen of nothing, nothing?

Submitted on 2005-12-02 15:34:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments

I've noticed that all the poetry that I've read of your's is in the same format. I question how much you can really grow as poet staying in this same style. Anyways, to this specific peice. I like the title, but the connection between it and the poem is very loose. However, I do think the poem is very interesting. My favorite line is " Just one more lost tomorrow". Good write overall.

| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Lady Ankou | [ Reply to This ]

verry profound. actually quite interesting. I enjoyed it, the rythem and flow. The words you used were exquisite and verry entrancing. And the way you portrayed cutting as a torn smile was nicely done. It seems as if there is more than one message to be percieved from this poem and it could take a while to get them all out. Great work.

| Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]

ok well its not about cutting but it in there is it not? "i pull the blade down a smile is torn" cut? no? peace out

| Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]

very good i do recomend avoiding cutting a lot of people will "cut " you down if you use it never the less it was a great peom the imagry was exalent wording was astounding and i cant spell please comment on my work i love you forever and stuff

| Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]

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