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Shattered Whispers

Author: Red_reaper
ASL Info:    14/f/inside a blueberry
Elite Ratio:    5.94 - 143 /76 /20
Words: 92
Class/Type: Poetry /
Total Views: 1157
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 623


Words slowy passed through my mind, and here it is written. I have vague ideas what it's about, but I feel like I've known it forever. Just another one of those things....

Shattered Whispers

Walk in a daze
All noise a buzz
Everything a haze
Emptiness profound

Lost memories bother
Imaginary or not?
Screams of a father
A beloved face

And they do persist
And in the middle of my mind
Is where I cease to exist
Where forever is lost

Just one more lost tomorrow
And pain is regret
Joy turned to sorrow
Is where I finally forget

Pull the blade down
A smile is torn
Thorns for a crown
And I wonder

Is the Queen of nothing, nothing?

Submitted on 2005-12-02 15:34:05     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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  I've noticed that all the poetry that I've read of your's is in the same format. I question how much you can really grow as poet staying in this same style. Anyways, to this specific peice. I like the title, but the connection between it and the poem is very loose. However, I do think the poem is very interesting. My favorite line is " Just one more lost tomorrow". Good write overall.
| Posted on 2006-01-16 00:00:00 | by Lady Ankou | [ Reply to This ]
  verry profound. actually quite interesting. I enjoyed it, the rythem and flow. The words you used were exquisite and verry entrancing. And the way you portrayed cutting as a torn smile was nicely done. It seems as if there is more than one message to be percieved from this poem and it could take a while to get them all out. Great work.
| Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by Di Re Rakord | [ Reply to This ]
  ok well its not about cutting
but it in there is it not?
"i pull the blade down
a smile is torn"
cut? no?
peace out
| Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]
  very good
i do recomend avoiding cutting
a lot of people will "cut " you down if you use it
never the less it was a great peom
the imagry was exalent
wording was astounding
and i cant spell

please comment on my work
i love you forever and stuff
| Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by bloodied_angel | [ Reply to This ]

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