[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: A mass of Blackish Greydots

    Author: fightingirl19
    ASL Info:    17/F/MN
    Elite Ratio:    4.92 - 148/126/50
    Words: 202
    Class/Type: Misc/
    Total Views: 1282
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1292


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsA mass of Blackish Greydots

    I'm filled with such darkness
    All these feelings, mix and become one
    Creating a mass of blackish grey

    Tears fill my eyes and I try and push them aside
    A natural release
    That I hate to have to perform

    They said it would be okay
    That everything will work out in the end
    Life will be livable once more

    But how do I know that?
    That it will be okay
    How can they be so sure?

    Body is slowly melting away
    Mind drifting down another road
    My spirit floating towards the heavens

    I'm tirerd and sick
    Ready to be done with all this
    I just want to be able to truthfully say I'm okay

    I'm afraid of all those people, how they see me
    Lies bring me down, keeping me unhappy
    They could find out, they could see right through my defenses

    Not a single enemy I have
    Everyone loves me
    I'm the one that makes all the friends

    Life is such a gift
    Without it, we'd really have nothing
    Yet some people treat it with little respect

    Why I can't figure mine out is beyond me
    I'll work this out.

    Submitted on 2005-12-02 21:52:47     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      this is cool I like the style of writing and how you put your self in it and I hope that you work out whats going on with life then maybe you can help me understand mine good write and keep working on it coz your very talented and need to express your self more
    | Posted on 2006-02-15 00:00:00 | by Animus Custodis | [ Reply to This ]
      mm yea... life is way confuzzling...
    the title should be 'life is way confuzzling' lol jk
    well, i think that everyone is prbly trying to figure out their lives durign this time of our lives... liek where we fit and what we'll do in the future.
    i really like this one, it's pretty neat. i was just wondering, how come that one stanza has four lines when the other ones have only 3? i think that's kinda silly ;P (ae i think it doesn't match), but that's just me.
    well, keep writing and try to figure yourself out! lol i'm doing the same!
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by LoneWolf | [ Reply to This ]
      You can work this out
    You are going thru the same journey I went thru at your age
    For once grab a hold of the beauty inside of you
    Release it and let it help improve you
    Think of yourself
    Im not saying do not think of others but think of helping yourself
    Let the love you have guide you and others
    Stay Positive
    God Bless

    And Thank You for your recent comments
    I always look forward to hearing from you
    Take Care
    Your Friend
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by Ronswords | [ Reply to This ]
      Well...the past 2 and a half years I've felt like I've been living in a mass of blackish grey. It's just like you said..the tears come and you try to push them away..you try to get rid of all that darkness but it just finds a way to come back every time. People tell you all the time that it will get better that it won't always be this bad...but no one knows how you really feel..what's really going on inside of you. I just loved this piece. Great job. ~hailie~
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by loveispain | [ Reply to This ]
      nothing good comes from the dark=blackish grey,in no excetion
    life is full of doubts,no matter the age.i was born confussed=lol.and will die the same
    when someone tells you it will be alright.it usually means time will be involved to get there=a universal constant.

    some descent imagery in this write.reader gets to know how youre feeling.
    and is a very relatable topic,put into VERY relatable words.
    questions are asked=always good

    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by toyysruss | [ Reply to This ]
      oh one more thing, the title is fine... it works like that, plus it is what caught my attention in the first place...

    PEACE and LOVE, greg
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by geherald | [ Reply to This ]
      interesting... and it doesnt sound like it was written my a 15 year old... impressive...

    dont worry though, nothing you ever do or see or learn will ever make complete sense, but that is just the world that we all live in... your family will always be related and friends can almost always relate, so rely on those you can and things will turn out for the best eventually...

    and keep writing, you have a unique talent and write far better than many your age... when i was 15 i couldnt have writen anything like this poem, so keep it up... good luck

    PEACE and LOVE, greg
    | Posted on 2005-12-02 00:00:00 | by geherald | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]