Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: For A Good Time...dots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: Raivn
    ASL Info:    33/f/al
    Elite Ratio:    4.28 - 1222/916/231
    Words: 161
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 702
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 989



    Description:
       THIS CONTAINS ELICIT LANGUAGE AND SEXUAL CONTENT. I read my cousin's poem about a prostitute, and this is kind of my reply to it. With a twist of my own.


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsFor A Good Time...dots
    -------------------------------------------


    He tossed his jacket on the floor.
    "Let's do what I came to do."
    She took him in her mouth,
    Felt it harden as it grew.
    He bent her over the bed,
    Discovered there was nothing under her skirt.
    He pressed her up against the wall,
    Gripped her ass so tight it hurt.
    He picked her up off the ground,
    Then lowered her onto his cock.
    He began to thrust into her heat.
    She slyly checked the clock.
    He threw her down upon the bed.
    He fucked her from behind.
    She did her special dance when he put her on top.
    He got off at least three times.
    He gave her body one more longing glance
    As he began to dress.
    His eyes lingered on the curve of her ass,
    His hands longed to caress.
    He picked up his jacket from the floor,
    Wondering what was on her mind.
    She slipped the money into his pocket,
    "Thanks for a lovely time."




    Submitted on 2005-12-03 09:57:30     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      This was a good poem and I suckede it up and read it and I really like the ending...I think it was really cool...and it flowed really well, you have a talent for this...it really is good.

    Jaz
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by lori_tab | [ Reply to This ]
      Well, this was graphic, but I hate censorship so I liked it. It was pretty graphic, strong, and well, good. It was really powerful and forcefully written I felt. Aside from the content, the rhythm of this poem was near perfect. It was also realy direct, ha...didn't really beat around the bush though which was really cool and one of this poem's strengths. I thought it was really good. I gotta say not disturbed but certainly thrown off when I read it. that was really cool, I love when stuff has that effect on me.
    Metal Heart74
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by Metal Heart74 | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    83180

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    It's been a while written by Sharati_hottie
    untitled written by Chelebel
    Love Can Be... written by HAVENSMITH92
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Fathoms of the Lullaby Sea written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Life changes in a moment written by Ramneet
    Pain, an elixir. written by Ramneet
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Our Cinder Crisis written by SavedDragon
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    I will call out your name written by RisingSon
    The Song on Your Guitar written by SavedDragon
    To written by SavedDragon
    Date night written by expiring_touch
    Giving written by jjd
    Wasps written by Wolfwatching
    Transparent written by Daniel Barlow
    Skin of Fables written by ShadowParadox
    Wish written by Daniel Barlow
    Break Up written by WriteSomething
    Unfortunate Reality written by TeslaKoyal
    One Thing written by Wolfwatching
    Devils in the Details written by endlessgame23
    Deaf Dumb and Blind is no excuse written by poetotoe
    Be Free written by hybridsongwrite
    In the Mouth of Elysium written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Incubus written by monad
    Ten Poems written by Wolfwatching
    Push written by JanePlane
    Wavelength written by saartha

    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry