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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: insearch for my famliydots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: bloodied_angel
    ASL Info:    15/Female/Oklahoma
    Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 79/119/44
    Words: 174
    Class/Type: Poetry/You left me
    Total Views: 827
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1142



    Description:
       the two quotes are from poe


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsinsearch for my famliydots
    -------------------------------------------


    "gaily bedight,
    a gallant knight,
    in shunshine and in shadow,
    had journeyed long,
    singing a song,
    in serch of Eldorado"

    oh such a happy child
    look at you briliant smile
    oh please dont cry
    father doesnt meant to hit you
    you know daddy would never hurt his little girl
    you know daddy would never kill his little angel

    oh baby girl with the big old smile
    please dont scream
    mommys only gone for the moment
    she'll come home
    she'll hold you tight
    she'll tuck you in
    she'll come home and stay till the end

    mommy will come home
    daddy will stop yelling
    the kid wont tease you anymore
    all you have to do
    is take the extra pill
    play with daddys gun
    learn the glory of spliting flesh
    walk out, go find mommy shes...

    "over the moutains,
    of the moon,
    down the valley of the shadow,
    ride, boldy, ride,
    they shade replied,
    if you seek for Eldorado"




    Submitted on 2005-12-03 12:32:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

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    ||| Comments |||
      WOW can you say that over and over for about five minutes? I loved this poem, it's such an eye opener it goes through like three stages. At first it sounds like first person, then like the mom and then BANG you get the this huge butt revelation at the end. I love it, keep up the good work.

    Yay I'm not being an ass
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ]
      This was really good. I like the blending of Poe within the poem. The flow was great. And this poem was highly emotional. Great job.

    Maggie
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
      I agree with Grim. She's right about the fact that the excerts from Poe go great with your poem.

    I really enjoyed this part:
    oh such a happy child
    look at you briliant smile
    oh please dont cry
    father doesnt meant to hit you
    you know daddy would never hurt his little girl
    you know daddy would never kill his little angel

    It really touched me because that happens everybody and to a lot of people. You did a great job!
    <Unperfect3
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]
      thas heart touching sad
    but its greatly written
    the quotes u picked from poe go butifully in with the poem


    Darkness of the Grim Draco
    | Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]


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