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insearch for my famliy


Author: bloodied_angel
ASL Info:    15/Female/Oklahoma
Elite Ratio:    2.63 - 79 /119 /44
Words: 174
Class/Type: Poetry /You left me
Total Views: 1007
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 1142



Description:


the two quotes are from poe


insearch for my famliy



"gaily bedight,
a gallant knight,
in shunshine and in shadow,
had journeyed long,
singing a song,
in serch of Eldorado"

oh such a happy child
look at you briliant smile
oh please dont cry
father doesnt meant to hit you
you know daddy would never hurt his little girl
you know daddy would never kill his little angel

oh baby girl with the big old smile
please dont scream
mommys only gone for the moment
she'll come home
she'll hold you tight
she'll tuck you in
she'll come home and stay till the end

mommy will come home
daddy will stop yelling
the kid wont tease you anymore
all you have to do
is take the extra pill
play with daddys gun
learn the glory of spliting flesh
walk out, go find mommy shes...

"over the moutains,
of the moon,
down the valley of the shadow,
ride, boldy, ride,
they shade replied,
if you seek for Eldorado"




Submitted on 2005-12-03 12:32:29     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  WOW can you say that over and over for about five minutes? I loved this poem, it's such an eye opener it goes through like three stages. At first it sounds like first person, then like the mom and then BANG you get the this huge butt revelation at the end. I love it, keep up the good work.

Yay I'm not being an ass
| Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Flamequill | [ Reply to This ]
  This was really good. I like the blending of Poe within the poem. The flow was great. And this poem was highly emotional. Great job.

Maggie
| Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Magnolia Steele | [ Reply to This ]
  I agree with Grim. She's right about the fact that the excerts from Poe go great with your poem.

I really enjoyed this part:
oh such a happy child
look at you briliant smile
oh please dont cry
father doesnt meant to hit you
you know daddy would never hurt his little girl
you know daddy would never kill his little angel

It really touched me because that happens everybody and to a lot of people. You did a great job!
<Unperfect3
| Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by UnPerfect | [ Reply to This ]
  thas heart touching sad
but its greatly written
the quotes u picked from poe go butifully in with the poem


Darkness of the Grim Draco
| Posted on 2005-12-03 00:00:00 | by darkness | [ Reply to This ]


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