Description: I believe that solitude is one of life values that makes one wise and kind. Of course, mind you, eternal exclusion from people can be quite (an understatement!) disadvantageous, but a moment of solitude can be rather good for the heart and the mind.
I haven't written in a while and at last something has popped up. I hope that it isn't repulsive.
The gift of solitude -------------------------------------------
He who walks alone
Is not a man of loneliness
He who is in solitude
Is a man of courage
For he finds more company
In birds, in trees, in him
Than in a massive crowd
Of they who fear seclusion
They do exchange a courtesy
And a chuckle of respect
But do they ever listen?
And are they ever heard?
They pine and sorrow
In the comfort of their niche
Over them who never listen
And they who never hear
The gift of solitude
Is a precious grant to have
For he who has not tasted it
Missed a lesson to his life
A lesson that is risqué
That kind that can be wounding
But which still enlightens
And fills the heart with virtue
I really like the theme, and the way you've pictured solitude. I do agree that solitude is essential, but I myself had not expected such images while reading the title and description. Still, that's not a bad thing, because everyone has their own image of something, it was interesting to hear yours.
Ok, as a footnote, i think the pic above fits this peice well somehow.ok, now to critique:
well, before i critique, because you aked for thoughts, all i can say is you are right of course. :-)
now . . .
He who walks alone Is not a man of loneliness He who is in solitude Is a man of courage
nice opening assertion. ryhme is uneccessary because the point is the last word, so a ryhme would only link it with 2nd link unneccessarily. however, rythme is different, 2nd line is much longer. though i do respect that the word loneliness is quite important to the peice.
For he finds more company In birds, in trees, in him Than in a massive crowd Of they who fear seclusion
A very nice point. well stated, teh ryhme here really helps teh peice flow.
Ok, i stopped there, because the rest of the poem
A) repeats what this stanza says more breifly B) the last stanza simply lessens the power of the peic eby attempting to make the poitn clear. i would advise 2 things
let them wonder a bit until they realize it, leave out teh last stanza.
also, i dont' think the stanza's after these 2 added anything really. now, dont' get me wrong, they weren't bad, but they simply repeated what was said in the second one. or maybe you could keep the 3rd one, but the others just repeated it, so i would exclude them. find a different aspect of his soliture. is is true that in soliture,one who has known and welcomed soliture, does that one not value each friendship more? each TRUE relationship? does not his one or two matter more than the swarm of others that "they" posess? see if you can say other things through the other stanza's.
but a good write. thematially very strong, teh peice flowed well, please understand my critiques are for icing, but the cake is already delicious.
good work! I truly enjoyed it... and I can relate to it as well. I enjoy the occasional bout of solitude. It helps clear my mind and sort things out... some people prefer to not seclude themselves every now and then because being occupied with others unoccupies them of their deepest thoughts, worries and problems.. that's my opinion. They're afraid to reminded about the bigger picture about their lives. Though I must admit, I tend to space out into my own world a time too many.. haha.
I thought this was really welll written... it was simple, straightforward, but nevertheless effective at delivering its message. Well done!
Impressive write, i myself am a very sucluded person and you've done a very good job of describing the way a solitary person feels. Just because they may look lonely from the outside, doesn't mean they feel lonely, i personally just enjoy life without all the hustle and bustle, and i find the more time i spend alone the more i enjoy it.
The gift of solitude Is a precious grant to have For he who has not tasted it Missed a lesson to his life
That's my favourite stanza, you really hit home here, it's true when you are in solitude for a while you learn things about yourself that you never realised before, it's like the more time you spend alone the more time you have to get to know yourself. I personally am in awe with this piece, i enjoyed reading over and over again, you've hit the proverbial nail on the head here, and i wouldn't change it. Keep writing... Danny
Submission Name: The gift of solitude
