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    dots Submission Name: Broken Sinkdots

    Author: Rocky Raccoon
    Elite Ratio:    3.16 - 27/25/13
    Words: 85
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 1183
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 607


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsBroken Sinkdots

    Please open the faucet
    I'm inside your tank
    Return from the market
    Find me in your sink.

    Don't call the plumber
    He's not worth trusting
    He'll do the murder
    Fix me yourself.

    But don't use the wrench
    use only your hands
    Put me on a bench
    Sit close to me.

    Now close the faucet
    Water is noisy
    We're not done yet
    We're just starting.

    Turn off the clock
    we don't like time
    I have a lock
    have you got the key?

    Submitted on 2004-04-24 22:07:25     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      ... I'm so confused... I'll have to read this again, but the abstractness of it is what makes it so endearing. I love it. The strangeness if the narrative is a cool concept, and waay off the mainstream. I would have phrased the second and last stanzas differently, but that's just me. I'm liking your stuff a lot, and I'll check back periodically. Watch for my and I'll watch for you .
    Wishing for more,
    | Posted on 2006-06-12 00:00:00 | by Imadjinn | [ Reply to This ]
      well, this is quite crazy! I like it... the rhyming is a bit unnatural and I found myself struggling with it, but I think after a few read-throughs it would be fine. Is this a riddle or what?!? I'm intrigued.. tell me more, tell me more!
    | Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by mixedemotions00 | [ Reply to This ]
      The only line that I ment with sexual reference was the one of "use only your hands" Any other line has nothing to do with sex
    | Posted on 2004-04-24 00:00:00 | by Rocky Raccoon | [ Reply to This ]
      i like this, man...sounds like my kind of writing. people have no patience when it comes for abstract story telling, and they don't like it when they have to fiugre stuff out. Like why someone would be in their sink. And then they gotta deal with it, and [censored], and its just too complicated and poetic...Love it. My fave line..."he'll do the murder/ Fix me yourself". wow! ~leper m
    | Posted on 2004-04-25 00:00:00 | by leper messiah | [ Reply to This ]

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