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    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Deathdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CaramelCandy
    ASL Info:    37 Female NYC
    Elite Ratio:    6.07 - 118/144/57
    Words: 231
    Class/Type: Poetry/Death
    Total Views: 932
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1613



    Description:
       "One for the Angels" - The Twilight Zone

    Author's Comments: "Sometimes we wonder where will our souls go to rest, but only we determine our final destination. I was watching an episode of "The Twilight Zone" and it was about a man who had death visit his home. He was given three reasons why death should prolong his claim. The last choice was to proclaim "Unfinished Business". It was granted after much discussing and the key was to pitch one of his created items for sale. His goal was to become successful in making that pitch. He wanted a pitch that would open up the heavens and so he did. He detained death from claiming the life of the little girl by persuading death of its need for the old man's items. The old man was so convincing in selling the items that before death knew it the clock struck twelve and death had missed his appointment to claim the girls life. He took the old man instead."


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    dotsDeathdots
    -------------------------------------------



    Death sees no color or race
    it doesn't discriminate against
    sexual orientation or age.
    It is never late nor too early
    it comes to claim
    the life of many.
    Whether rich or poor
    it rests not
    to seek those
    whose ultimate destiny is
    to leave this world.

    It bargains not,
    but beckons your soul
    with its appearance
    and finger of bones.
    Appointments are obsolete
    to the Grim Reaper.
    He comes dressed
    for the occasion;
    in a black hooded cloak
    and a scythe in its hands
    he speaks not; his silence
    frosting the air that's near.

    Resistance, he fears not.
    Who can prevent the time
    of Death?
    He is inevitable
    and comes uninvited.
    You can cheat him at life
    but not for too long.
    He's persistent in his task
    of claiming lives.
    Taking them one by one
    adult or child;
    as we scream to the heavens
    "take me instead".

    He patiently awaits for
    the last breath taken.
    Only the departing soul
    can hear his panting
    in a room chilled by his breathing.
    He draws closer and closer
    toward the death bed
    and slightly bends to
    hear the last breath expiring.
    He's ready to snatch
    that which he claims...
    solely you determine your
    final destination.


    12/27/04 Saby J.R.




    Submitted on 2005-12-04 19:55:10     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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    ||| Comments |||
      I will get back to this poem later, right now, I am thinking of something else, meaning that I cannot give a comment on the poem. Instead I will give you some thourghts that it set of in me.
    The thing about choosing where we go when life is over, is a funny little buggar. I am of the opinion, that if you want to be really sertain, you need to be your meanest. This way you where you are going - doubt only really exist in the mind of the saved.

    Best,
    -tZar
    | Posted on 2006-05-10 00:00:00 | by tZar | [ Reply to This ]
      I liked this poem. It was really good..
    It flowed really well.
    The basis of this poem was interesting. Death is an inevitable thing that we all must face. It is in human nature to ponder such things.
    You displayed your ponderings well.
    Very good job on this poem.
    | Posted on 2005-12-14 00:00:00 | by jessie thomas | [ Reply to This ]
      Death waits for no man. Death has a chore and cannot be detered. We will die when it is time and we do not get to say when.
    Awesome write here Saby. Really sobering too.
    I have thought of this many times and wondered how I would go if death came knocking. I would like to think that I would understand in the end but that has yet to come.

    The ending says it all.
    solely you determine your
    final destination.

    If we live a good life and do the best that we can then we can be rewarded. If we do evil and live our life in sin then we will be justly rewarded for our deed.
    We are rewarded in the end and it is up to us what reward we will recieve.

    Great write Saby

    Greatest Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      I think this is more a poem of acceptence, its basically saying that death is unaviodable to us all so regardless of weather taken young or old, it'll still happen...however i like how you placed death to actually have views and feelings itself...like its not judmental on ur appearance...kinda like saying 'whats the point in trying hard or making an effort...we all die anyway! HE doesnt care!'...
    nice work though, keep it up

    Leigh
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by sunkissed_raven | [ Reply to This ]
      Based on the last few lines of this poem, it seems to have less to do with death and more to do with an 'eternal reward', the place one occupies after death. The fact that death doesn't discriminate (regardless of what one may do to avoid or cheat it), creates a mood of sobering reality that a skeptic might regard as pessimism and believer would view as inevitable. BTW, I saw the 'Twilight Zone' episode you describe in your intro, perhaps now you should write a companion piece based on an episode called 'The Big, Tall Wish'. An in triguing write. Nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


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