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Author: Flamequill
ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35
Words: 43
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 632
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 322


Random I know....oh well, fuck it all. So yeah comment gosh dangit don't just view it!


Weak and Cold
the numbing pain
can barely write
freezing in time
freezing for winter
away with the pain
bring in the bliss

I won't feel
not with this cold
pain is stifled
emotion hidden
but held
a new me again

Submitted on 2005-12-05 10:53:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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1: >_<
2: I dunno...
3: meh!
4: Pretty cool
5: Wow!


  Kind of chaotic, hard to make sense of it all. 'Freezing FOR winter'? 'Euphoria'? These seem randomly entered into the words. Rhyme, alliteration, anything at all you can do to organize this would be great.

| Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
  Very cool write. I especially like

pain is stifled
emotion hidden
but held
a new me again

Very nice on the reborn kind of message.
Elite skills is so addicting..
well anyway I think that the first stanza could be reworked. As long as you feel the writing then I dont think it matters what I think.
| Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]

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