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Cold


Author: Flamequill
ASL Info:    17/Male/Sparta Michigan
Elite Ratio:    3.42 - 77 /97 /35
Words: 43
Class/Type: Poetry /Being a Teen
Total Views: 632
Average Vote:    No vote yet.
Bytes: 322



Description:


Random I know....oh well, fuck it all. So yeah comment gosh dangit don't just view it!


Cold



Weak and Cold
the numbing pain
can barely write
freezing in time
freezing for winter
away with the pain
bring in the bliss

I won't feel
not with this cold
Euphoria
pain is stifled
emotion hidden
but held
a new me again




Submitted on 2005-12-05 10:53:08     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
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Comments


  Kind of chaotic, hard to make sense of it all. 'Freezing FOR winter'? 'Euphoria'? These seem randomly entered into the words. Rhyme, alliteration, anything at all you can do to organize this would be great.

~Kane~
| Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Kane Martyr | [ Reply to This ]
  Very cool write. I especially like

pain is stifled
emotion hidden
but held
a new me again

Very nice on the reborn kind of message.
Elite skills is so addicting..
well anyway I think that the first stanza could be reworked. As long as you feel the writing then I dont think it matters what I think.
| Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by PoeticSoul666 | [ Reply to This ]


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