Writingpoetry

[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

dotsdots
nav
  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav



    nav
  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav



    << | >>
    poetry


    dots Submission Name: Among the Rosesdots
    --------------------------------------------------------





    Author: CaramelCandy
    ASL Info:    37 Female NYC
    Elite Ratio:    6.07 - 118/144/57
    Words: 129
    Class/Type: Poetry/Passion
    Total Views: 1179
    Average Vote:    5.0000
    Bytes: 933



    Description:
       Author's Comments:
    'Memorie del mio Romances'

    [Memories of my Romance]


    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.

    dotsAmong the Rosesdots
    -------------------------------------------



    To Love, Romance, and Passion!

    Its scarlet color burning inwardly
    Yearning to discover my secret garden
    A warm dew running down its vine
    How can such simplicity and beauty
    Create an erotic love

    Its smoothness brushes my skin
    My body pulses with every encounter
    My sweet pleasures arouse me
    I've never known such softness
    Never known such intense ardor

    Its loveliness and lustre
    Make me feel so tender and sensual
    Am I becoming delirious
    My mind strays into a beautiful garden
    My body lays beneath wild flowers

    It remains vibrant
    Not a petal wilts
    It brings many divine pleasures
    I want it to last
    Forever among the roses

    All Rigths Resreved, Saby J.R.

    Posted 12/5/05




    Submitted on 2005-12-05 20:43:32     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!




    ||| Comments |||
      The inside is terribly chaffed. Your undertone one of earthy nowin your poem. I'd very burst myself to look through eyes like those....what is better than a (b e e) on flowers in retrospect. Then the window it can escape...thoreau www...I like the flow of the poem ...to days the future now some more...
    | Posted on 2006-12-28 00:00:00 | by standinglish | [ Reply to This ]
      I especially like "scarlet color", "warm dew running down its vine", and "my body lies beneath wild flowers"...very evocative.
    I like the center alignment, but i'm not sure why. The sensuousness and natural eroticism of flowers is a very apt analogy for poems. A texture the poet can get inside of...and so, inside the reader as well.
    Nice picture, lovely poem.
    see you around
    kc
    | Posted on 2005-12-11 00:00:00 | by twacky | [ Reply to This ]
      This one is very very nice. It feels very warm and soft. Like no harm can come. Kind of make me want to cuddle with the one I love and have the person read it to me softly so to almost sing it. Very awesome passionate poem. And unlike other more sappy love poems this one is really nicely written. It gives you the sense of a very erotic love but also the most innocent of poems in the form of a rose. Any way I have probably completely slaughtered the true meaning of this work, but this is the way I read it and I like it, and I will leave it alone now.
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by SonAsylum | [ Reply to This ]
      This is different in terms of what Im used to reading. But thats not a bad thing either. I got a sense of warmth when I read it. Certain parts kinda got me confused, but I went back and re-read and got the understanding more clear. Its really sensual and touching. Gets you in the "mood" almost lol. And Im just being honest but thats what it did for me. If a rose did that to you, then I needta go pick a few roses and just watch em for a lil while cuz that was pretty deep lol...but, good poem. Keep it up
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by PrettyRicki | [ Reply to This ]
      This is the most sensual thing I've had the pleasure of reading in a long time. The way you have used the phonics to create a sing-song feel is very seductive in it's own way.

    You have spun words together here to create love's many embraces. Very well done. Thank you for sharing.

    Take Care!

    Chell
    | Posted on 2005-12-06 00:00:00 | by Chell | [ Reply to This ]
      This remids me of Rose Petals Beneath Me, but with a longing for a passionate love affair with a significant other. There is much longing for the love of another in this write.

    I like how you bare you soul and let others feel your longing.
    Saby this is awesome. I like this one allot.

    Respect and Admiration

    Clyde
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Wisdom Seeker | [ Reply to This ]
      A tribute to passionate arousal, perhaps? This is a very sensuous encounter with the self that craves affection and desires profound love and admiration from an opposite equal. Every bit of this poem is as soft as the rose petals and dew that are mentioned throughout the work. Careful of the thorns, young lady, it's the beauty of love you desire. Very nicely done.
    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by rws | [ Reply to This ]


    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?



    83456

    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.


    Google
     


    poetry

    dotsLogindots

    User Name:

    Password:

    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]


    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems
    Posted

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]



    FontSize:
    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]
     Poetry