[ Join Free! ]
(No Spam mail)

  • RolePlay
  • Join Us
  • Writings
  • Shoutbox
  • Community
  • Digg Mashup
  • Mp3 Search
  • Online Education
  • My Youtube
  • Ear Training
  • Funny Pics
  • nav

  • Role Play
  • Piano Music
  • Free Videos
  • Web 2.0
  • nav

    << | >>

    dots Submission Name: DREAMdots

    Author: StMichael
    Elite Ratio:    3.1 - 11/11/5
    Words: 170
    Class/Type: Poetry/Misc
    Total Views: 736
    Average Vote:    No vote yet.
    Bytes: 1100

       just dream hammies....dream

    Make the font bigger!! Double Spacing Back to recent posts.



    Help out yourself
    and help out some others.
    If you dont feel like doin it
    act its your sister or mother


    Go out and do it
    Try livin the Dream
    You can choose to be a criminal
    cuz theres room on the streets

    A simple effort
    many need to succeed
    I never said a scrape dont hurt
    and its easy to leave...but

    ever give up
    or ever think about quitin
    Its still people gettin drunk
    so you think that your missin...

    with the old
    and in the the new
    Even the smartest of men
    can turn into a vegetable

    for just a minute or two
    if you were a child
    not a parent
    would you want this for you?

    cause of you think of it
    then of course it could happen
    look at all the silly white boys
    gettin rich off rappin!

    Submitted on 2005-12-05 22:00:04     Terms of Service / Copyright Rules
    Submissions: [ Previous ] [ Next ]

    Rate This Submission

    1: >_<
    2: I dunno...
    3: meh!
    4: Pretty cool
    5: Wow!

    ||| Comments |||
      I noticed your entries, weren't getting any love(comments) so I though I might just give you one. This poem/rap/freak of nature as a real sense of want and community, You obviously want people to get their dreams and never give up on them. The line even the smartest man can turn into a vegetable was nice, if you don't use your mind you lose it. But on an overall scale this one gets a 5 outta ten. Might just be that i don't like rap but no offense I got nothing outta this one, maybe I wasn't the intended audience. Thanks for posting.

    Yours Truly,
    | Posted on 2005-12-19 00:00:00 | by Aruemos | [ Reply to This ]
      I like this poem. It's original and different. The thing that sticks out the most is your word choice. This is one of the better poems that I have read.

    | Posted on 2005-12-05 00:00:00 | by Razing_Fire | [ Reply to This ]

    Think Feedback more than Compliments :: [ Guidelines ]

    1. Be honest.
    2. Try not to give only compliments.
    3. How did it make you feel?
    4. Why did it make you feel that way?
    5. Which parts?
    6. What distracted from the piece?
    7. What was unclear?
    8. What does it remind you of?
    9. How could it be improved?
    10. What would you have done differently?
    11. What was your interpretation of it?
    12. Does it feel original?


    Be kind, take a few minutes to review the hard work of others <3
    It means a lot to them, as it does to you.

    Bond written by saartha
    4th of July written by layDsayD
    Alone in the Crowd written by SavedDragon
    True Death written by layDsayD
    Before, Now, & After written by SincerWritinAsh
    written by Daniel Barlow
    AI written by poetotoe
    written by Daniel Barlow
    Red Barn written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Sunset written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Your Lover written by Cordell
    You do, I Do written by poetotoe
    Every..... written by jackz
    102.3 written by rev.jpfadeproof
    Neither Here nor There written by layDsayD
    Bee Keeper written by endlessgame23
    Sleep Talk written by Queen_of_spades
    new moon written by CrypticBard
    Estranged / Shocks written by Daniel Barlow
    The Severed Head written by HisNameIsNoMore
    Still Fighting See? written by ForgottenGraves
    descent written by TheBadSadMan
    Waiting written by Daniel Barlow
    Blood Stains Are The Worst written by ForgottenGraves
    Push written by JanePlane
    More then just goodbye written by faideddarkness
    Cosmic Dreams written by Chelebel
    PEARL (Exclusive Poem) 10th Anniversary... written by Cordell
    the living moment written by ShyOne
    Dashboard Light written by layDsayD




    User Name:


    [ Quick Signup ]
    [ Lost Password ]

    January 10 07
    131,497 Poems

    I have 14,000+ Subscribers on Youtube. See my Video Tutorials

    [ Angst Poetry ]
    [ Cutters ]
    [ Famous Poetry ]
    [ Poetry Scams ]

    [ Smaller ] [ Bigger ]